Arguments do not kill a relationship. Unhealthy, poor fighting patterns do.


  1. All arguments must be resolved. “I did this and I was wrong” and say it out loud with your mouth.
  1. Request forgiveness.
  1. Keep asking until partner says “yes I forgive you.”
  1. Don’t let the day end without resolving the conflict.
  1. Stick to ground rules.  a. Don’t say “never” or “always. b. Stay on the issue. c.No character assassination i.e. “you are so selfish” d. Once forgiven, discussion can not be used as evidence for next argument.
  1. No further discussion unless you agree to the above ground rules.
  1. Realize that you and your partner will always have disagreements.
  1. Realize that forgiveness has to be a way of life.


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