Broken

Yesterday,

I was cleaning my tiny apartment with anticipation of moving to my 3 bedroom apt by the end of the month. Since September 2013, I have been living in the smallest basement ever. I am sharing one room with my 3 year old and 7 month old. I was so tired yesterday of so many things that just the thought of finally moving lifted my spirits tremendously.

While I was cleaning, I found a letter that I wrote to God and I felt like I was reading someone else’s story. The emotions were different, ideas were different, and the outline was different from how I write today. I was very sensitive to the love God had for me and the way I described it was overwhelming. I asked for help in a few areas and I proclaimed many times of Gods faithfulness and how He was going to place my feet on higher ground.

It’s been more than a year since I wrote that letter. During that period, things got worse. I didn’t understand how God was going to place my feet on higher ground with all the madness happening in my life.

Brokenness.

God continued to break me to get me to understand that all I will ever need is Him

“God is out to shatter your self-resources. God knows that the most effective way to do that is to strike you at the point where you feel the strongest.” –Lon Solomon

God wants to get rid of our independence. He wants us to know that we are 100% helpless without Him and we can’t help ourselves no matter how hard we try.

“You never know if Jesus is all you need until He is all you have.”

We have to be broken to actually realize who God is. During that time of hardship, I realized that God was placing my feet on higher ground. What I didn’t know was that first, He had to set a solid foundation by breaking me and then making me.

People try to escape brokenness by justifying their wrongdoings, fleeing difficult moments and persevering in their ignorance. A well taught Christian never tries to escape hardship in their lives.

Reach out for brokenness. It’s the only way to get where God wants you to be.

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Brokenness is what you want for me.

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