My biological father left my mother before I could remember. What I do remember is that I wanted to see him all the time. It was promise after promise made to a 5, 7, 10 year old that he would show up to see me and didn’t. When he did show up, it seemed more like an obligation rather than an “I miss you so much” moment.
My mom married my first stepdad when I was 5. They were together for 9 years and throughout all that time, I couldn’t see him as my real father. I wasn’t comfortable to hug him, to kiss him or to open my heart to him. I don’t even think he felt open enough to treat me like his biological daughter. Maybe he did his best, I wouldn’t know. I didn’t know how it felt to be treated like daddy’s little girl anyway.
Things happened, him and my mom split. A year later I find myself calling another man my stepdad. It confused me, because i already had a stepdad although he was no longer in my moms life. I was around 14 at the time starting high school and i always saw him as nothing more than my moms boyfriend. I was even requesting to visit my first stepdad once In while as if there were a court order.
I’m 25 so that means stepdad #2 has been in my life for 11 years. (I had to double check my numbers). He’s been a great father figure to me but at the end of the day, my life would never be as important as his own daughters. That’s just how is. It’s natural. It’s reality. I’m the stepdaughter. Nothing more — even if he/they tried.
I can see this all as a bad thing and blame all my insecurities on my biological father. I can be bitter by blaming my stepdads for putting me underneath their own daughters. I can blame my want for male attention as a teen on all three of them. I can blame them for being used by other guys. For being fooled. Etc. I can blame them for a lot of things. In reality, I should blame myself for not finding the blessing while it was there for me to grab.
Instead of one dad, I have 3. All three are still around and choose to be involved in my life. All three are willing to be there for me the best that they can. All three have a huge impact in my life and that is where I find the blessing. While many daughters have one father to love, I have 3.
It is because of my ultimate Daddy, YHVH, that I can see things this way. He is the Daddy that gave me 3. Without Him, I’d have 0. With Him, I really have 4.
Do you see your blessings?