The damage is done and it’s hard to wish greatness in your enemy’s life. Their failure, pleasing.
Who are you kidding? Telling yourself that your thoughts are wrong doesn’t remove its lovely feeling.
You can repent & you can pray and ask God to take it away but we all know the truth.
Their downfall is what you wanted.
Their sorrow is what you scoffed at.
Their desperation, comforting.
You can be honest all you want and say “I don’t want to think that way.”
That doesn’t erase the fact that you thought it in the first place.
Don’t you get it, you’re human.
Understand that it was The Cross that blocks the “comes around” that should result because of that attitude.
If I were you, I’d praise Him.