It’s a shut down

We ask God to mold us into His Image forgetting that His image is Jesus.

I asked, and prayed, and sang, and just constantly had in my mind that I wanted to be more like Him. I wanted to see with His eyes. I wanted to feel as He did. Little did I know that the process is THE most painful thing ever.

I stopped writing. I stopped trying to impress people with words. I stopped trying to impress people with ideas and pretty pictures. I stopped trying to impress people with MYSELF.

There is nothing about myself to take pride in except that God changed this sinner and saved her. It is then that my pride is focused on God.

I thank the Lord for making things so hard in my life. For allowing me to go through depression, pain, sickness, loss, desperation, thoughts of suicide, inadequacy and insecurity. Because without it, how in the world would I ever have compassion over a depressed friend? How could I ever understand truly what it is to want to die? There is no way to see this world in God’s perspective if my life has always been a success.

Authkg is my pen name. Yes, a name that I gave myself. I’ll keep it sure, I still need an easy username for the grams. But God has shown me way too much to keep trying to prove to the world that I exist.

The world doesn’t need to know me. The world needs to know Jesus. The one who saves me day after day from the darkness of this world.

When I have the time and energy, I will soon archive all my posts, give up my domain and walk the walk. It’s been nice having this blog. But now, it’s time to grow up.

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