See the Small Things

Is it hard to believe that someone would just GIVE you something of much value? A car? Home? I would have never believed if someone told me this happened to them.

During my pregnancy, I suffered terrible loss. My morning sickness debilitated me to the point where I lost my job. I wasn’t making my quota anymore. I couldn’t. I lost my dream apartment and had to give up one of our cars. I could still feel the pain from that time. I felt worthless, small and ashamed I had lost so much. My trial could fill a big book but today, I have to speak of 2 things. A car and a home.

My husbands job is now requiring him to travel. We needed another car. We didn’t stress it. We left it in God’s hands. Suddenly, God provided in a miraculous way. A car, for us, for free!

November 1st my husband and I begin a new adventure. We move into OUR home. A while ago, our friend from church said he was going to work on finding us a mobile home for us to own. We didn’t hold him to his word because we get it, sometimes life gets in the way. But our friend recently came through. For those who don’t live in the south, mobile homes are very popular and can be bigger than apartments up north. This one is 3 bedrooms and 2 full bathrooms. Our friend completely renovated the home and offered us a deal so great we had to question if he was even making a profit. His motivation was obedience to what God told him to do for us. With that alone, he was content.

I still had to make sure this was all God’s doing because we’ve been burned so much by making moves without God’s hand in the midst. I walk around the unit and found a study Bible that belonged to the prior owner (the only owner) of the home. Unfortunately, the woman passed away and left the study Bible behind amongst all her other belongings. I asked our friend if I could have it. He said yes.

Only the Lord knew how badly I wanted a study Bible. And he once again provided that for me. He also thought about me so thoroughly that He gave me one that once belonged to a strong believer. The previous owner left notes everywhere and Highlighted everything. The study Bible is USED and shows so much character. God thought about me in this. The Bible has history. I inherited this treasure.

I want to name the previous owner Sarah. She lived simply and worshiped Jesus with everything she had until her transition to be with the Lord. Here is note number 1 found in the first few blank pages.

Milk- Gospel. Salvation and Cross.

Meat- is doing of the gospel.

1 Corinthians 3:1-3

I want to eat the solid food or the meat Paul speaks of in that verse. I want to walk the walk. I want people to know freedom in Christ as I do. The LOVE of God can warm even the coldest heart.

I’m being very honest. There’s no reason to lie here on my blog. The car and home is nice but the details God put into giving me that study Bible speaks to me louder than anything in this world. I’ve lost so many material things that I am numb to not having them. I content with having just the essentials. He ensured His sovereignty over this move on November 1st by listening deep into my heart for my deepest desire and providing it. He proved His love in the tiny details in this bible. He spoke volumes in the small things.

What a Love We Found!

If our strength comes from the joy of the Lord (Nehemiah 8:10), what do we think of that sparks that joy. Is it the things that He has done for us? Miracles, breakthroughs or victories? How about His love? There is a song by Phil Wickham called “Your Love Awakens Me” and I have it on my “Worship” playlist on my phone for many reasons. I can’t unlock the best of what God has for me unless I am fully aware of how much He loves me.

The world has made it difficult. Some of us were raised without fathers. The person responsible for being a leader, a provider, to be our security and our standard of love…nowhere to be found. How could we understand the magnitude of God’s love if we don’t know how it feels to be loved? Some of us placed our hearts in the hands of a spouse and they tore it into pieces leaving nothing but empty promises, betrayal and abandonment. How could we ever trust a Being that isn’t visible or a God that isn’t perceptible? They say to trust in the Lord but trusting the closest people in our lives has proven to guide us towards sorrow and failure.

God is way ahead of us and already knows our deepest troubles hindering us from receiving the fullness of His love. Like scripture says, all we need to do is touch the boarder of His garment for a breakthrough. Push through the crowds, reach out and His power will begin to flow. Sometimes, we must give love another chance. This time, from God. Read scriptures daily and watch how the words come alive for you in your time of need.

When His love awakens us, we begin to see who we are in Him. We are set apart, special, the apple of His eye. He cares for our sorrows, He cares for our pain. He puts peace into our hearts when things seem to be at its worst. I’ve witnessed His love to be more powerful than any other thing that claims to offer love in any other form. Because of His love, He has taught me to love my family like He loves me. Not just an ordinary love but a love that requires sacrifice. I sacrifice myself, my desires, my comforts and my will for them and I will do it over and over until I die. That is what His Love has done for me. It awakened my spirit to be a better person. To lift myself from despair or to break out of my shortcomings. He teaches me and molds me into His image every time I get a taste of the Love He has for me. I can’t measure His love; therefore, I can’t imagine how great it is. When He simply shows me a hint of His heart, I can’t contain myself. His love for me opened my eyes to the sorrow of this world. Suddenly, I want to dedicate my life to the ministry and give it all I have. I mean, He gave me His Only Son.  

We can’t receive His love unless we tunnel our eyes towards Him. Forget what others has done to you and give it one more shot, that’s if you are at your last. You won’t regret it. I don’t speak in the voice of religion but in the heart of… – I understand because that was once me –

Divine isolation

I’ve been in a very long season of isolation. When I say isolation, I mean having no one to bounce my spiritual concerns off of. No one to give me fulfilling spiritual advice. Every prayer, struggle, concern and doubt has always been forwarded to God the Father alone. 

I have friends, yes. But for some odd reason, God pulls me back from them when it comes to my spirituality. Many times I’ve felt so alone and so misunderstood because God has not anointed anyone (other than my husband and Pastor) to guide me. There have been plenty of times that even going to my husband or my pastor has returned to me void. 

It’s not their fault at all and I’m starting to see the light now. God needs me to trust Him. I used to have a terrible habit of feeding off of people rather than the source of my spiritual meal. It’s been revealed to me that this isolation season is over and I’m blogging to tell you that it isn’t terrible to have your own encounter. When you feed off of your friends expierences or grab a spiritual snack from a relative, you always leave missing out on a full course meal. You think youre full, but you’re not super dooper button open belly out full. 

I’ve had a lot of questions, doubts and discouraging moments that have been completely satisfied when I directed them to Him. Give it a shot. Concerns + God – People = Revelation.  

Just a note: My answers were found in scripture every. Single. Time. 

Lam 3:24-30

3 Realms of the Prophetic

Sermon by Pastor Bernard Greene

3 Realms of the prophetic

1st: Realm of understanding

  • When God speaks directly without interpretation.
  • Forth telling
  • You couldn’t argue what God said.

2nd: Realm of consciousness

  • When prophecy speaks to the Mind, emotion and what’s hidden.
  • When prophecy reaches the “Soulish realm”. Intent and motives are also spoken to.

3rd: Realm of the Supernatural- The most potent

  • Foretelling: To God, prophecy is not considered “future” but truth.
  • Faith makes the future real to us NOW.
  • Supernatural prophecy is when God speaks to the impossible.

Prophecy- The word of the Lord translated to us.

How do you receive your prophetic word? Where does your seed fall?

  • Highlight: We don’t control the seed; we determine how the seed falls.
  1. On the wayside? Where the birds came and ate it?
  2. Shallow ground? Sprang up quickly and scorched due to lack of roots?
  3. Among thorns? Grew up and choked?
  4. Good ground? Where it produces a crop a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

Reference: Matthew 13

Now, let US make man 

Before my eyes, I didn’t have to look far. I didn’t have to search vigorously, or even willingly. I simply touched the border of Jesus’ garment and it hit me like a ton of bricks. 

“KG, let’s start a daily devotional. Even if you have to start at Genesis. You know you’d find something new.”

I went for it. Genesis 1:1 God created the heavens and the earth…

Wow God, I see what people mean when they say You make something out of nothing. The Earth had no form, darkness everywhere. And You? So sovereign and so in control, spoke light and it became. But here I am stressing about my finances as Christmas approaches  not realizing that with just one word, You can make a miracle. 

That was just the beginning. I continued to read and I bumped into this gem. 

Gen 1:26 Then God said, “Now let’s make humans who will be like us. 

Let’s?! 

Us?!

It’s clear as day! Jesus and the Holy Spirit were present during the creation of the earth. 

Living in a society that tries to offer hope from someone or something other than Jesus brings uncertainty but reading this gives me confidence to stand for what is true. 

Jesus is true. The comfort of the Holy Spirit is tangible and proven. God’s powerful essence, unquestionable. 

To even think that the stars in the sky, the moon, the sun just simply appeared by accident requires more faith than to believe a powerful, almighty being Who created it all. 

Am I that human? Am I like You? Let that be my desire every single day. 

You gotta know

@authkg 

Afraid of what?

So many uncertainties and frequent human inconsistencies leave so much room for fear. Fear that perhaps our comfort gets torn out from under our feet. That in an instant, our lives go from a constant, subtle wave to a thunderous storm tossing us left and right resulting in our destruction. 

Have no fear, The Lord says that He is our stronghold. That throughout the storm, He is the lighthouse in the middle of the ocean that never moves; a strong tower that remains sustained. We run to It and are saved. 

I can’t deny being provoked by the storm to make drastic decisions coming from fear. What I can say is, moving according to fear leads to more uncertainty. 

Let’s put our emotions aside a move towards what scripture directs us to do. God is always right. We, on the other hand, are most likely wrong. 

@Authkg

Grace Wins

I remember like it was yesterday. Walking to the bathroom for the 4th time in one hour, not to use it but to cry. Never in my life have I ever felt so unworthy like I did at that moment. I was aware that I didn’t deserve God’s mercy. The pain was unbearable. So bad that it was difficult to exhale. Now, I understand that the pain was for a purpose. 

The only way to truly understand what Grace meant, I had to know how it felt to be in need of it. I needed God’s love and favor even though I didn’t deserve it. The best part of this was that God gave it to me. It was a gift. Underserved, unearned and with no conditions. God loved me and found favor in me despite my sins. He gave me victories to many battles and kept me from my enemies. He protected me from further shame and returned what the enemy stole from me (with interest). 

The most sorrowful moments of my life was when God was revealing His mysteries to me. These things don’t come on a silver platter, they come with tears of repentance and a humble heart. A soul aware of it’s unworthiness to stand before a Holy God. 

“There’s a war between guilt and grace and their fighting for a sacred space but I’m living proof, GRACE WINS EVERYTIME”. 

And so it did.  

Praise dance to Grace Wins by Matthew West
Grace Wins by Matthew West-Music video

Remembering Past = Faith for the Future

I love to see how far I’ve come in this Christian walk. I enjoy going back to old blogs remembering how I felt when I wrote them, remembering how some blogs were written out of spite or out of anger. I look back and remembered how I felt; as if I knew it all. No way am I going to knock myself down for it. Those feelings were genuine and just because it isn’t relevant now doesn’t mean that it’s not important. 

It’s sad how we sometimes feel the best solution to our mind battles is to pretend the past never existed. We drown in our guilt from past decision or past mistakes instead of embracing them just as Psalms 77:11 says. 

Is it hard to remember how the Lord delivered us from our errors? Is it difficult to review all the times the Lord blessed us despite of our foolishness. Is it hard to be honest with our mistakes and to not…pretend. I have to admit, these things can be difficult for some including myself. It’s hard for me to admit to MYSELF that I carry envy in my heart. An envy that I still ask God why its presence still exists in me. I’m learning today that God uses my struggle to remind me what He took me out of. To remind me that although people can do what I wish I can do or posses what I wish I had doesn’t mean that I am less than (<). It means that I am not meant to be anyone else. That God has blessed me in specific areas according to HIS will. Not mine. 

See, it’s not terrible to admit to your sin. It’s not terrible to hold onto a piece of your past. It isn’t the end of the word if you be just a little transparent. Being honest and looking back to the days of old shouldn’t bring you to a bad place rather, it should bring you to a new place. A place where you begin to see some change in your being. The way you walk, talk and act. 

No I won’t go back and delete previous blogs or delete previous statuses on my Facebook or remove old photos from my IG. I’m happy. If you don’t like me at my state of growing and learning, than you won’t like me now cuz guess what? 

I am still growing and learning. 

Experience: I thought I knew

These past few months have kept my eyebrows in the raised position for many reasons. I wish I could get into detail but unfortunately I have yet to find the words to explain exactly how I’ve been feeling. Lately, I’ve been asking myself the same question. “You think you know huh? You think you know?”
My answer?

“Ha! Not anymore.”

I have been through plenty of…things in this Christian walk to be able to say confidently that I have some meaningful testimonies. I’ve seen God work in my life firsthand and I share my experiences with others hoping they would grasp an idea of how God functions.

How God functions?!

YHVH is NOT a toy that when you flip the “on” switch, He lights up and sings a tune. He’s not a computer that when you press the “backspace” key, you can delete a letter or a sentence. God is not a television that when you click guide, you can view upcoming episodes. Let me try to explain.

I spoke of God as if I spoke of a “thing” that responds based on my action. If I prayed an hour, my sadness would cease. Yes, He has delivered me that same way but I shouldn’t assume that to be the ONLY way.

Once, I had to make some quick decisions and I fasted for a week. God responded by telling me what my next steps should be. I shouldn’t assume that fasting is the ONLY way to find help in regards to my decisions for my future.

If you give generously, God would bless your finances right? How can I tell someone else to do the same if they have nothing to give?  I portrayed God as some kind of genie.  You rub a lamp and He responds by granting 3 wishes. That he is not.

Why do I sound unsettling? I am. When I pressed the “on” button in my life, sometimes God’s volume went up. I would press the guide button and God would go to channel 5. I would lower the volume and God would play a movie.

I have to admit, there were times I did nothing for the Kingdom, and God responded with blessings as if I’ve done tons of Christian things. God, I understand.

You are not a God of MY personal experience. You don’t maneuver in someone else’s life based on how you moved in mine. I shouldn’t guide someone in their struggle based on how I was guided through my own. Everyone is different and everyone absorbs the matters of God in unlike ways. My job isn’t to determine the best solutions to one’s storm. My job is to express God’s goodness in mine. Not based on what I did but based on what HE did.

God’s ways are not ours. The more we think we know, the less we actually know. Therefore, at times, my response will be, “I don’t know.”

And that’s okay

Fear God out of love. Don’t love Him out of fear. 

I see it way too often. 

A so called gospel that produces fear rather than hope. 

Words that causes one stomach to churn vigorously resulting in the rejection of the true gospel. 

“Can’t give the gospel another chance, it put me in a bad place the last time I heard it.” 

Is it true love if it’s produced out of fear?  

-Healthy fear:

Why wouldn’t you lie to your mother? 

Because you respect her, you don’t want to hurt her.  

Why do you obey your father?

Because you understand that he knows best. 

Fear: 

A word with many definitions. 

A word resulting in many different emotions. 

A word that is used to abuse those who genuinely seek the Lord in times of trouble. 

God is Love. If your fear does not confirm this truth, then you are what is called “afraid”. 

What Jesus tells us not to be.

Joh 14:27 “I leave you peace. It is my own peace I give you. I give you peace in a different way than the world does. So don’t be troubled. Don’t be afraid.

IG, IP, TW, SC, TB, @authkg