Remembering Past = Faith for the Future

I love to see how far I’ve come in this Christian walk. I enjoy going back to old blogs remembering how I felt when I wrote them, remembering how some blogs were written out of spite or out of anger. I look back and remembered how I felt; as if I knew it all. No way am I going to knock myself down for it. Those feelings were genuine and just because it isn’t relevant now doesn’t mean that it’s not important. 

It’s sad how we sometimes feel the best solution to our mind battles is to pretend the past never existed. We drown in our guilt from past decision or past mistakes instead of embracing them just as Psalms 77:11 says. 

Is it hard to remember how the Lord delivered us from our errors? Is it difficult to review all the times the Lord blessed us despite of our foolishness. Is it hard to be honest with our mistakes and to not…pretend. I have to admit, these things can be difficult for some including myself. It’s hard for me to admit to MYSELF that I carry envy in my heart. An envy that I still ask God why its presence still exists in me. I’m learning today that God uses my struggle to remind me what He took me out of. To remind me that although people can do what I wish I can do or posses what I wish I had doesn’t mean that I am less than (<). It means that I am not meant to be anyone else. That God has blessed me in specific areas according to HIS will. Not mine. 

See, it’s not terrible to admit to your sin. It’s not terrible to hold onto a piece of your past. It isn’t the end of the word if you be just a little transparent. Being honest and looking back to the days of old shouldn’t bring you to a bad place rather, it should bring you to a new place. A place where you begin to see some change in your being. The way you walk, talk and act. 

No I won’t go back and delete previous blogs or delete previous statuses on my Facebook or remove old photos from my IG. I’m happy. If you don’t like me at my state of growing and learning, than you won’t like me now cuz guess what? 

I am still growing and learning. 

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Experience: I thought I knew

These past few months have kept my eyebrows in the raised position for many reasons. I wish I could get into detail but unfortunately I have yet to find the words to explain exactly how I’ve been feeling. Lately, I’ve been asking myself the same question. “You think you know huh? You think you know?”
My answer?

“Ha! Not anymore.”

I have been through plenty of…things in this Christian walk to be able to say confidently that I have some meaningful testimonies. I’ve seen God work in my life firsthand and I share my experiences with others hoping they would grasp an idea of how God functions.

How God functions?!

YHVH is NOT a toy that when you flip the “on” switch, He lights up and sings a tune. He’s not a computer that when you press the “backspace” key, you can delete a letter or a sentence. God is not a television that when you click guide, you can view upcoming episodes. Let me try to explain.

I spoke of God as if I spoke of a “thing” that responds based on my action. If I prayed an hour, my sadness would cease. Yes, He has delivered me that same way but I shouldn’t assume that to be the ONLY way.

Once, I had to make some quick decisions and I fasted for a week. God responded by telling me what my next steps should be. I shouldn’t assume that fasting is the ONLY way to find help in regards to my decisions for my future.

If you give generously, God would bless your finances right? How can I tell someone else to do the same if they have nothing to give?  I portrayed God as some kind of genie.  You rub a lamp and He responds by granting 3 wishes. That he is not.

Why do I sound unsettling? I am. When I pressed the “on” button in my life, sometimes God’s volume went up. I would press the guide button and God would go to channel 5. I would lower the volume and God would play a movie.

I have to admit, there were times I did nothing for the Kingdom, and God responded with blessings as if I’ve done tons of Christian things. God, I understand.

You are not a God of MY personal experience. You don’t maneuver in someone else’s life based on how you moved in mine. I shouldn’t guide someone in their struggle based on how I was guided through my own. Everyone is different and everyone absorbs the matters of God in unlike ways. My job isn’t to determine the best solutions to one’s storm. My job is to express God’s goodness in mine. Not based on what I did but based on what HE did.

God’s ways are not ours. The more we think we know, the less we actually know. Therefore, at times, my response will be, “I don’t know.”

And that’s okay

Blocked

I’ve been wasting so much time on brainstorming. Taking notes here, random scraps of paper all over there and various notes in my cellphone all over the place. In the end, did I write about any of those thought-provoking pieces of a good blog? No. sometimes it takes a whole lot of unnecessary time to finally realize that I’m a right now person. When I’m inspired, rather than finding a piece of paper to note my terrific thought for later, I should write it at that moment.

Now that I have finally recognized the cork that is blocking my flow of capabilities, let’s move on.

Once upon a time,

The end.

I guess the matter here wasn’t just recognizing the cork, but removing it.

 

Now, if I were you…

The damage is done and it’s hard to wish greatness in your enemy’s life. Their failure, pleasing.

Who are you kidding? Telling yourself that your thoughts are wrong doesn’t remove its lovely feeling.

You can repent & you can pray and ask God to take it away but we all know the truth.

Their downfall is what you wanted.

Their sorrow is what you scoffed at.

Their desperation, comforting.

You can be honest all you want and say “I don’t want to think that way.”

That doesn’t erase the fact that you thought it in the first place.

Don’t you get it, you’re human.

Understand that it was The Cross that blocks the “comes around” that should result because of that attitude.

If I were you, I’d praise Him.

What’s wrong with being wrong?

We fight tooth and nail to defend ourselves regardless of the lie we’re upholding. 

Drop it now, lies are scolding. 

How far can we take it? So far we would cover it. 

Underneath contorted truths or deep in denial, how much will you fight? 

Until trial?

You’re wrong. It’s okay. Admit it, it alright. 

I’ve been through it, holding on to pride so tight. 

I’m at a point in my life, I just say what it is. 

Faulty on my part, I can’t resist

Tell the truth, don’t hold onto defense so long.

Cuz Seriously, what’s wrong with being wrong?

Fear God out of love. Don’t love Him out of fear. 

I see it way too often. 

A so called gospel that produces fear rather than hope. 

Words that causes one stomach to churn vigorously resulting in the rejection of the true gospel. 

“Can’t give the gospel another chance, it put me in a bad place the last time I heard it.” 

Is it true love if it’s produced out of fear?  

-Healthy fear:

Why wouldn’t you lie to your mother? 

Because you respect her, you don’t want to hurt her.  

Why do you obey your father?

Because you understand that he knows best. 

Fear: 

A word with many definitions. 

A word resulting in many different emotions. 

A word that is used to abuse those who genuinely seek the Lord in times of trouble. 

God is Love. If your fear does not confirm this truth, then you are what is called “afraid”. 

What Jesus tells us not to be.

Joh 14:27 “I leave you peace. It is my own peace I give you. I give you peace in a different way than the world does. So don’t be troubled. Don’t be afraid.

IG, IP, TW, SC, TB, @authkg

Grace 

When Grace is in your heart, your role is to release others from fear, not create it.

-Grace Awakening by Charles Swindoll
What a book! 
Teaching the full spectrum of grace is risky. It almost seems like it’s potential can give one the idea that Grace is the license to sin. 
It’s not. We water down its potency believing it to be that way. 
Yes, Grace is undeserved and not earned and that’s what makes it scandalous I know. 
But living in such a way thinking it would shower over us based on our behavior is even more outrageous. 
Have you ever sat down and meditated on just that? 
Grace? 
@Authkg

He’s a good God

As a child, I knew nothing about the Lord. All I knew was that God was Holy, untouchable and judgmental. These qualities are obviously not true but why did my innocence lean towards that direction? 

I can admit the people I surrounded myself with didn’t quite have it right either. We all went to church and it seems like we had to walk a certain way to be considered a true Christian. 

So many rules and so many obstacles to feel worthy of God’s forgives kinda forces one to quit. At the end, we can’t meet such a high standard. 

I learned the hard way that God is good. I finally realized how good He was when I recognized how bad I was. Rock bottom opened my eyes to a forgiving Father. When there is no where else to turn with your sins, God is waiting with open arms. 

The key is to remember, God wants us ALL to make it to heaven. Don’t let the lack of knowledge keep you down and rob you of a peaceful, joyful life. 

Hosea 4:6 My people perish or lack of knowledge. 

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hosea+4%3A6&version=KJV

What is your weapon of choice?

We sometimes believe that the enemy is trying to put things in our minds when in reality, he’s keeping things out. 

How many times have we fallen into a trap because we didn’t KNOW a way to avoid it?

We condemn ourselves NOT knowing that there is no condemnation for those of us who are in Christ Jesus. Rom 8:1

We fall into temptation NOT knowing that God always provides us a way out.  1 Corinth 10:13

We are anxious NOT knowing that we can cast our cares onto the Lord and that He will sustain us. Psalms 55:22

In every struggle, I find myself unsteady because I have simply forgotten what the Lord said to relieve me from my pain. 

The bible says that the word of the Lord is  sharper than a double-edged sword. Without the word, we have no weapon. Without a weapon, the enemy has full access to destroy us.  Heb 4:12

So what is your weapon of choice? A toothpick or a SWORD.  

@AuthKG

God kept me

I could have lost my way in so many situations. I’m saying, I could have called it quits to the whole Christian thing. I mean, every possible thing that could go wrong, went terribly wrong. 

Something kept me. Of course I was convinced it was supernatural because what was happening was way beyond my control. If I had any plan to solve something, it would have been spiteful. My personal plans to deal with my pain was to take severe action. I’m talking about fists flying just about every single day. Never have I felt so hostile before but something kept me. 

I understood that as a human being full of sin, I would never know the solution to my crises. I recognized my place in the eyes of a Holy God that I had to step back. “Lord, I’m letting you take complete control.”

There were days that BAM! An atomic bomb exploded making my life worse but I chose to not even lift a finger. I just prayed. 

I always asked God to change me. Life wasn’t in my favor so I had to ask God to change my attitude to conform to the storm in my life. Lord, teach me how to love thunder, to love rain. Teach me to embrace the high winds, the floods. Teach me. Teach me. Teach me. 

Yes. I used my storm. I used the water from the clouds to nourish the flowers that are blooming today. God knew how to handle my enemies better than I ever could have.

 He kept me. God kept me, so I wouldn’t let go. 

Without lifting a finger, vindication was activated in my life. 

Let God. 2 words with enough power to change a life. 

Or

Fight alone. 2 words that can destroy you. 

Choose God.