Do you still visit his grave?

Me: How does your current husband feel when you bring up your deceased husband?

Yan: He gets bothered because that was my past life and we’re doing new things and making new memories. Thankfully he understands that I may miss him and I may think of him often. I guess he’s not entirely bothered.

Me: Yeah, it’s not like you guys divorced. You loved him fully and then he was gone. The love just doesn’t disappear right? Do you visit his grave?

Yan: No. When I used to visit the grave, I felt worse. I couldn’t find peace to move on. He was gone and I had to continue life all by myself. My kids still needed mommy, bills didn’t stop coming, I just had to somehow find peace and that meant I had to stop visiting his grave.

Me: How did your family feel when you started dating again?

Yan: They didn’t like him because he didn’t have money. He wasn’t taking us from a pit and placing me and my children in a palace. He asked me “Do you want to struggle together” and I said yes. In this life we’re always going to struggle so why not struggle in agreement together? My family didn’t like the fact that I was actually dating again after my first husband passed. Therefore, I moved to another state. Away from my family who kept judging me on top of the pain I was already going through and away from all the people who knew my deceased husband and would look at me with pity every time they saw me. I hated that.

Me: The passing of your husband must have changed your outlook in life. I mean, I could tell because you’re so level headed.

Yan: I don’t pay attention to the new trends, clothing, looks, money, and things. I treat people the way I want to be treated. I take pleasure in the small things.

Life is so much more than what people make it.

Life is short

Make peace with your enemies.

Make peace with yourself.

Tell people you love them

And show them.

Take joy in what you have.

Quit seeking for more

Stop and smell the flower.

Take note of the small gestures.

Be compassionate and

Stop trying to know it all.

Life is short and so is this blog.

Don't waste anymore time, just spread the Love. God, Jesus, Holy Spirit. Share them!

I asked for love and You showed me the Cross. 

I can only imagine, living in Jerusalem during the crucifixion and watching my savior being crucified on the cross from afar. It didn’t matter where I went or where I stood, I was still able to see it happen. The Romans assured that it was to be done in public for all to see.

After watching the gruesome torment of the crucifixion, I would never look at the cross the same. The cross to me would be a horrific symbol. Looking at a symbol like the cross would bring sadness upon me like never before. I would demand the cross be torn down and burned. “It was on the cross that my savior died. TAKE IT DOWN! It brings me back to that horrific day!”

Who would keep the car that killed your mother? Who would keep the gun that shot your brother? Who would keep anything associated to a loved ones death?

God is perfect and He can do anything and everything. His ways never match mine. God’s magnificence took a terrible piece of His death and turned it into the symbol of Love. The thought of the Cross representing love seemed impossible 2000 years ago but God, YOU turned it into a symbol of LOVE that can only be found in You!

I asked for Your love God, and you showed me the Cross. Nothing is impossible for you! How could I ever doubt you Lord? How?

The firm Conviction in Jesus

I was listening to a podcast from Dr. J. Vernon McGee and I had to take down this portion of his message in regards to the fear of death. As humans, we all fear the last day of our lives. When I heard this story, I was able to see the perspective of someone who knew that he was about to die. That’s not a common perspective to learn about so I absorbed every piece of it. This is a beautiful example of a true believer in Christ and this is where I want my mind to be on that day.

There was yonder, during WWII in Holland, a Dutch boy, 22 years old, captured with 2 other companions as he was attempting to escape England and join the Dutch army there. The Germans condemned him to go before the firing squad. Just a few hours before he went before the firing squad, he sat down and wrote his dad a letter. Here is what he said.


Difficult for me, dear father, to write this letter to you, but I have to tell you that the military court has pronounced a very heavy sentence upon us. Read this letter alone and then tell mother carefully. In a little while at 5 oclock, it’s going to happen. That’s not so terrible, I do not fear. I have the firm conviction that I may look forward to a death in Christ. It is after all only one moment, then I shall be with God. No more terrible miseries in the sadness of this earth. Is that such a terrible transition?


I know I shall see you all again.


What is your hope today?