The result of going through some STUFF

I had a silly dream last night. I was at a high school lunchroom with a bunch of people from my past. In the table across from me, there was a group of girls who first stated that I was pretty. Then, the one girl proceeded to say something snarky about something that I did wrong.

This girl got the short end of the stick with me at that moment. My fuse is quite long but was burned almost near the dynamite and once the sarcastic vibe came out this girl’s being, the fuse had reached it’s end.

BOOM!

I stood before the group of girls at the table and looked directly at Ms. Snooty.

“Listen! I don’t know what’s your problem and I don’t care. I WILL FIGHT YOU RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!”

I didn’t care if the other girls jumped in. I was so fed up with the comments and the gossip that I flipped out.

The girl was too scared to move because my reaction was unexpected and serious.

I analyzed the dream once I woke up and realized that I was genuinely tired.

I’m tired of drama.

Of people

Of gossip

Of injustice

Of nonsense.

I see my friends being persecuted and I legit want to step in on their behalf with the same attitude in my dream to defend them.

I see people maliciously attacking my loved ones with words and subliminal messages because of envy and I want to give these people a piece of MY FIST IN THEIR JAW.

But I can’t. They’re not my battles.

You’d think people are persecuting me but out of the 28 short years of my life, no one has ever had the nerve to say things to my face. After analyzing this thing, I learned that it’s probably because I’ve been through some stuff proving that — I’m not scared of anyone.

😒 I’ve been shamed in the worst ways possible and endured- you think I care about someone trying to use shame against me today?

😒 I had groups of people speak poorly of me at once- you think silly little mouth movements hurt me?

😒 I have been heavily mistreated by people that I loved- you think the mistreatment from someone I barely even know discourages me?

When a person has been through some…stuff, it’s hard to break them. The scars & callouses only toughen the heart. Be carful who you try to hurt. That person Who’s been through some STUFF will not back down without a fight.

I understand this post seems to promote confrontation and discord but I have to be real. Before you decide to hurt someone, be careful it isn’t someone who’s already been through some battles and isn’t quick to back down but is ready to stand their ground. THE GROUND that they already fought many battles to keep.

To the person being persecuted:

As hard as it may be, even for myself, let God take all the vengeance. The more we step in, the farther God will walk away from handling it for you. Let Him defend you. Even if you do not see His defense, trust that He is doing something behind the scenes. God doesn’t have to explain His workings to you. You just need to be still and trust. You are allowed to stand your ground but in PRAYER! Let me tell you, it works. ❤️

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God kept me

I could have lost my way in so many situations. I’m saying, I could have called it quits to the whole Christian thing. I mean, every possible thing that could go wrong, went terribly wrong. 

Something kept me. Of course I was convinced it was supernatural because what was happening was way beyond my control. If I had any plan to solve something, it would have been spiteful. My personal plans to deal with my pain was to take severe action. I’m talking about fists flying just about every single day. Never have I felt so hostile before but something kept me. 

I understood that as a human being full of sin, I would never know the solution to my crises. I recognized my place in the eyes of a Holy God that I had to step back. “Lord, I’m letting you take complete control.”

There were days that BAM! An atomic bomb exploded making my life worse but I chose to not even lift a finger. I just prayed. 

I always asked God to change me. Life wasn’t in my favor so I had to ask God to change my attitude to conform to the storm in my life. Lord, teach me how to love thunder, to love rain. Teach me to embrace the high winds, the floods. Teach me. Teach me. Teach me. 

Yes. I used my storm. I used the water from the clouds to nourish the flowers that are blooming today. God knew how to handle my enemies better than I ever could have.

 He kept me. God kept me, so I wouldn’t let go. 

Without lifting a finger, vindication was activated in my life. 

Let God. 2 words with enough power to change a life. 

Or

Fight alone. 2 words that can destroy you. 

Choose God.