Not built for guilt: God’s message to me

I’m so grateful that the Lord thinks of me so thoroughly that when I have an internal battle with myself, He quickly shows me a solution. A year ago, I sat at my cubicle in tears feeling so unworthy, guilty, condemned and depressed. My co-workers saw me in tears every day that month that they didn’t question me about it. Yes, I had sinned so horribly that I was reaping what I have sowed, BUT! With every failure, God had a plan. My sin was so deep, but His Grace was so much more.

My sorrow was so bad that I had to go to the bathroom to cry bitterly. I’m talking about crying tears that soaked my face. I’m talking about being so distraught that the next breath was so hard to take. I’m talking about PAIN that felt like it could not be extinguished by anything but death.

Then, one day I read a devotional on guilt.

Facts:

  • God does not condemn those who are in Christ -Romans 8:1
  • We are not built for guilt
  • We are made whole by the sacrifice of Jesus
  • Guilt has no legal right in our lives because Jesus paid for our sin and misdeeds.
  • When we feel guilty, we need to send it back from where it came from. Hell.

While reading these facts, you’d figure I was all good… It didn’t work.

I took the next step and I prayed for myself. I laid hands over my own head and asked God to tell me something. I felt like I was going nowhere in my spiritual life and I couldn’t accept Gods Grace to rid of my guilt.

One night I went to sleep and then, God spoke to me.

He told me 3 very important things that I needed to hear.

  1. You are on the right track. Keep doing what you are doing. Keep seeking my face and don’t give up. Im happy with you. I love you.
  2. You will hear something today at 9 oclock
  3. You are always late to work, church, everything but ill speak to you about that later.

I woke up and I think I wrote all this down.

I didn’t know if God was talking about 9am or 9pm but I knew something was going to happen.

9 am came and nothing. I’m like okay, I guess its 9pm.

I went to church that night and the preaching began. I WAS SO BORED!!! I’m like, “C’mon, I doubt this person has anything to do with this 9 o’clock thing. I have no idea what she is talking about.” So then I opened my bible to read it because I didn’t want to waste my precious time at church learning nothing.

8:59PM– I opened my bible expecting nothing. Turned to a random page and started reading

9:00 PM– Mark 15:25- It was nine o’clock in the morning when they nailed Jesus to the cross.

After so many tears of sorrow, I cried tears of JOY!
God was telling me that I did not have to worry about my sin ANYMORE! Jesus was crucified and he died to wash my sins away. If I remember my sin one more time to condemn myself, then Jesus’ death on the cross was meaningless.

How amazing is this? At 9pm I read about Jesus’ death that occurred at 9am!

God understands that sometimes, WE don’t understand. Have faith, God will help you. His salvation for us is not a mystery. We don’t need to read between the lines about His death on the cross. Don’t get so complicated. Jesus died, and if we believe, we are saved. Nothing more and nothing less. John 3:16

God still didn’t speak to me about being late all the time though. And I’m always late, STILL. Oh God have mercy!

Instagram @AUTHKG

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I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! Seek, you shall find.

A friend asked me a question about a tough situation she is going through. When she explained the details, I couldn’t give her a definite answer. The question was obviously very spiritual and personal that I was afraid to say the wrong thing. I was afraid because I really didn’t know what God favored in her circumstance. All I could say was (in simple words) “If you want to know the answer, just dedicate a fasting that focuses on an answer. Perhaps God can answer you in a dream, or vision.” Sometimes, we go through situations where the answer to the problem isn’t clear. In our eyes, both sides are agreeable in their own way. In our eyes, there is no sin between two paths that leads to the end. Sometimes, we really just don’t know what to do.

I remember once being in that same situation. I was desperate to know what a loved one was doing behind my back and deep down I knew the answer but I didn’t have enough proof to back it up. The signs were here and there and every time I asked someone to confirm my suspicion, they couldn’t conquer. The situation broke me to pieces.

Everything was so confusing. It was eating me inside like a parasite sucking up all life the in me. Then one night I went to church and the pastor prayed a specific prayer for those who are seeking revelation. She asked for it to be revealed in a dream for those who really needed it. I was like “HEY! I RECEIVE THAT PRAYER, GIMMIE DAT”

After service, I went home, shut off life and turned on prayer. I made coffee strong enough to keep me up for days. I read the bible, I listened to preaching after preaching, I took notes…ugh, I did everything I knew I could do to get that connection with the Lord. THEN, the main character in my dilemma called me. My suspicion grew with that phone call but again, it wasn’t conclusive.

After a few hours of being in God’s presence, I finally went to sleep…

I had a vivid dream about my situation. My dream covered the emotions, intentions, motives, desires and outcomes of all parties involved in this drama. At the end, God told me to pray for that person. Oh how I didn’t want to.

My prayer was:

“Dear God, I DON’T LIKE THIS PERSON. THIS PERSON MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL AND EVAPORATE IN THE AIR FORMING A CONDENCED DARK CLOUD ABOVE MY HEAD THAT I CANNOT SHOO AWAY! But…You, my LORD are telling me to pray, and so I am. LOOOOOOORRRRRRD! Do what you have to do in that person because I really can’t deal with it. Please help me be still and know that YOU are God and I am NOT!”

At the end, the dream finally confirmed to me that I was going to have the victory and much much more.

I believe that if we show the Lord how much we need something from Him, He will answer faithfully. How do we show Him how badly we need something? Well, we give Him the only thing we have to offer: praise, 100% of our effort, sacrifice and our time. It works, I’ve witnessed it. So, do it too

Instagram @AUTHKG

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The Capo Factor: Christian Authenticity

My maiden name is Kenia Capo meaning “Abode of God and a leader.”

Who am I?

I am 24 years of age, married, with 2 kids. I work full-time and I spend the rest of the day with my family.

Now, ill get detailed, short and to the point.

I am too young for the life I live but I love it.

I’ve been through the toughest storms one can imagine and through that storm; I became who I am today.

I defend those who have fallen

I take time for those who are weak.

I am extremely outspoken for Christ and NOONE intimidates me. (Except my supervisor Noah) I really don’t know why.

Its not that I’m trying to be tough, I just am. It’s wired in.

I don’t tolerate people who enjoy making others feel inferior.

I don’t tolerate persecution of those who sin

I don’t believe in salvation based on human works

I believe Jesus was crucified for our sins, died and, resurrected on the 3rd day.

I believe the cross is enough, period, point blank period period.

I’m sure people stalk all my blogs, social networks, FB, to see if I wrote badly about them. (I don’t know this for a fact so please don’t you worry. Keep peepin’. You might learn something) if they wanted a decent shout out, they should have treated me better.

This is my story and I own it.

My blog is about my experiences and what the word of God has to say about it.

I’m not here to pretend I’m holy holy holy because I am far from it without Jesus.

I am here to represent CHRISTIAN AUTHENTICITY.

Authenticity:  of undisputed origin; genuine.

I am real, not pretending to be someone I’m not.

I get angry,

I talk back with an attitude sometimes.

I’ve gossiped

I think highly of myself

I broke commandments

I’ve lied

I know my position with the Lord and I seek Him daily for Grace and forgiveness because I AM ROTTEN. I am nothing without Him and it is because of Him that I stand to witness and testify for His Glory. PRAISE GOD!

If you read my “about me” post and cringed wondering if you should read a blog from such a sinner like me, click that little X on the corner of this window and go along your merrily way of being self-righteous.

For those who can admit their flaws and need to know solutions to every rotten sin in their life, read on my brother and sisters of Christ.

The Lord remembers that we are…dust.

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Components to Christian Authenticity

Personal integrity- doing the right thing, in the right way, for the right reason.

Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you for the job you have blessed me with. I am able to listen to sermon after sermon while I work and that is just GREAT! Thank you for giving me the desire to learn more and more about you. I LOVE YOU!

Well would you look at that! Christian Authenticity! That’s the name of my blog. That’s right, AUTHKG. Authentic KG! Why am I so attracted to the word AUTHENTIC? Well, it seems that nowadays, it’s all about putting a FRONT; an image of what we believe is the correct way to “act” like a Christian. In the end, we look foolish and ultimately push people away from Christ. What we do is remind unbelievers why they don’t come to church in the first place.

What is it that attracts people to church? What do we do that pushes unbelievers away? Wait!

How do we become authentic Christians?

INTEGRITY

Integrity means doing the right thing, the right way, for the right reasons.

There are 4 key components to authentic Christian living

  1. Doing the right thing

Psalm 19:8

8 The precepts (rules) of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.

We attract people by showing an example of what God expects from us. Unbelievers appreciate honesty, kindness and, true love. We push people away by openly lying and gossiping about our fellow brothers and sister in Christ. People attend church to be free from drama and we show them that we Christians are no different.

  1. Doing things the right way

2 Corinthians 8:20

20 We want to avoid any criticism of the way we administer this liberal gift.

So, Paul (bible dude), visited the churches that he himself built to ask for money for the poor. They could have given him the money and he would have been on his way but he decided to bring witnesses with him from each church. He wanted to “administer the gift” THE RIGHT WAY in man’s eyes. This is an important key component to integrity. As Christians, we MUST care about how people see the things we do. When we make an effort to “do things the right way” we attract those who are used to seeing people who deliberately…”DO THINGS THE WRONG WAY!”

  1. Do things for the right reason

Matthew 6:1

1 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

Okay! Okay! You gave a 100 dollar bill for your offering in church. Okay! Okay! You cleaned the church bathroom. OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! You gave that homeless man McDonald’s for breakfast. Well Guess what?! You get zero reward from God for announcing your “righteousness” to the world over and over again. People who have this habit tend to push me away…from their presence. It’s good to keep quiet the good things you do for the Lord.  It proves that you actually did it for Him and not for people.

  1. Make it right when you got it wrong

Matthew 5:23-24

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

We could never get it right all the time when it comes to our relationships with others. To have integrity is to make things right with those we have something against. The Lord basically says that we might as well not go to church if we have something against someone. Our job as Christians is to prove that Satan has no stronghold against us. Our job as Christians is to prove that the Holy Spirit is so powerful in our lives that we approach the people we have issues with and SQUASH THE BEEF! There is no prosperity when there is beef. That should answer many of your questions.

Integrity……

Not many people have it.

shout out to Anita

Credit to this outline goes to Lon Solomon on his preaching called “Authenticity”

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The Fruit of the Womb

Psalm 127:3

Behold, children are a heritage (inheritance) from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Lord, thank you for my 2 babies. What a beautiful gift you have given me. Thank you for loving me so much that You put so much thought into the creation of Daisy and Nate. P

On 6/13 I gave birth to my son Nathanael. He was born at 11:47 pm. A few minutes later, I celebrated my birthday (6/14) nursing my birthday gift.

As I think about it, I realize that The Lord rewarded me with this precious gift of life. I won first place! First place because the obstacle course I ran before I found out I was pregnant was outta control.

This obstacle was an obstacle of life. I pressed on spiritually and didn’t give up. In every issue, I sought The Lord. He always consoled me in the moments I felt I was done with everything. The Lord said that He had plans for me. He was going to strengthen my life, marriage, self and reward me for my persistence.

Little did I know, my reward…. was a baby boy.

He looks exactly like me!

My husband and I are so in love with him, but Daisy (my 3 year old) is obsessed!

Before it was just 3 of us and now it’s 4. I have a beautiful family!

Thank you Lord, for my reward!

-KG

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