Experience: I thought I knew

These past few months have kept my eyebrows in the raised position for many reasons. I wish I could get into detail but unfortunately I have yet to find the words to explain exactly how I’ve been feeling. Lately, I’ve been asking myself the same question. “You think you know huh? You think you know?”
My answer?

“Ha! Not anymore.”

I have been through plenty of…things in this Christian walk to be able to say confidently that I have some meaningful testimonies. I’ve seen God work in my life firsthand and I share my experiences with others hoping they would grasp an idea of how God functions.

How God functions?!

YHVH is NOT a toy that when you flip the “on” switch, He lights up and sings a tune. He’s not a computer that when you press the “backspace” key, you can delete a letter or a sentence. God is not a television that when you click guide, you can view upcoming episodes. Let me try to explain.

I spoke of God as if I spoke of a “thing” that responds based on my action. If I prayed an hour, my sadness would cease. Yes, He has delivered me that same way but I shouldn’t assume that to be the ONLY way.

Once, I had to make some quick decisions and I fasted for a week. God responded by telling me what my next steps should be. I shouldn’t assume that fasting is the ONLY way to find help in regards to my decisions for my future.

If you give generously, God would bless your finances right? How can I tell someone else to do the same if they have nothing to give?  I portrayed God as some kind of genie.  You rub a lamp and He responds by granting 3 wishes. That he is not.

Why do I sound unsettling? I am. When I pressed the “on” button in my life, sometimes God’s volume went up. I would press the guide button and God would go to channel 5. I would lower the volume and God would play a movie.

I have to admit, there were times I did nothing for the Kingdom, and God responded with blessings as if I’ve done tons of Christian things. God, I understand.

You are not a God of MY personal experience. You don’t maneuver in someone else’s life based on how you moved in mine. I shouldn’t guide someone in their struggle based on how I was guided through my own. Everyone is different and everyone absorbs the matters of God in unlike ways. My job isn’t to determine the best solutions to one’s storm. My job is to express God’s goodness in mine. Not based on what I did but based on what HE did.

God’s ways are not ours. The more we think we know, the less we actually know. Therefore, at times, my response will be, “I don’t know.”

And that’s okay


Now, if I were you…

The damage is done and it’s hard to wish greatness in your enemy’s life. Their failure, pleasing.

Who are you kidding? Telling yourself that your thoughts are wrong doesn’t remove its lovely feeling.

You can repent & you can pray and ask God to take it away but we all know the truth.

Their downfall is what you wanted.

Their sorrow is what you scoffed at.

Their desperation, comforting.

You can be honest all you want and say “I don’t want to think that way.”

That doesn’t erase the fact that you thought it in the first place.

Don’t you get it, you’re human.

Understand that it was The Cross that blocks the “comes around” that should result because of that attitude.

If I were you, I’d praise Him.

Fear God out of love. Don’t love Him out of fear. 

I see it way too often. 

A so called gospel that produces fear rather than hope. 

Words that causes one stomach to churn vigorously resulting in the rejection of the true gospel. 

“Can’t give the gospel another chance, it put me in a bad place the last time I heard it.” 

Is it true love if it’s produced out of fear?  

-Healthy fear:

Why wouldn’t you lie to your mother? 

Because you respect her, you don’t want to hurt her.  

Why do you obey your father?

Because you understand that he knows best. 


A word with many definitions. 

A word resulting in many different emotions. 

A word that is used to abuse those who genuinely seek the Lord in times of trouble. 

God is Love. If your fear does not confirm this truth, then you are what is called “afraid”. 

What Jesus tells us not to be.

Joh 14:27 “I leave you peace. It is my own peace I give you. I give you peace in a different way than the world does. So don’t be troubled. Don’t be afraid.

IG, IP, TW, SC, TB, @authkg


When Grace is in your heart, your role is to release others from fear, not create it.

-Grace Awakening by Charles Swindoll
What a book! 
Teaching the full spectrum of grace is risky. It almost seems like it’s potential can give one the idea that Grace is the license to sin. 
It’s not. We water down its potency believing it to be that way. 
Yes, Grace is undeserved and not earned and that’s what makes it scandalous I know. 
But living in such a way thinking it would shower over us based on our behavior is even more outrageous. 
Have you ever sat down and meditated on just that? 

He’s a good God

As a child, I knew nothing about the Lord. All I knew was that God was Holy, untouchable and judgmental. These qualities are obviously not true but why did my innocence lean towards that direction? 

I can admit the people I surrounded myself with didn’t quite have it right either. We all went to church and it seems like we had to walk a certain way to be considered a true Christian. 

So many rules and so many obstacles to feel worthy of God’s forgives kinda forces one to quit. At the end, we can’t meet such a high standard. 

I learned the hard way that God is good. I finally realized how good He was when I recognized how bad I was. Rock bottom opened my eyes to a forgiving Father. When there is no where else to turn with your sins, God is waiting with open arms. 

The key is to remember, God wants us ALL to make it to heaven. Don’t let the lack of knowledge keep you down and rob you of a peaceful, joyful life. 

Hosea 4:6 My people perish or lack of knowledge. 


God kept me

I could have lost my way in so many situations. I’m saying, I could have called it quits to the whole Christian thing. I mean, every possible thing that could go wrong, went terribly wrong. 

Something kept me. Of course I was convinced it was supernatural because what was happening was way beyond my control. If I had any plan to solve something, it would have been spiteful. My personal plans to deal with my pain was to take severe action. I’m talking about fists flying just about every single day. Never have I felt so hostile before but something kept me. 

I understood that as a human being full of sin, I would never know the solution to my crises. I recognized my place in the eyes of a Holy God that I had to step back. “Lord, I’m letting you take complete control.”

There were days that BAM! An atomic bomb exploded making my life worse but I chose to not even lift a finger. I just prayed. 

I always asked God to change me. Life wasn’t in my favor so I had to ask God to change my attitude to conform to the storm in my life. Lord, teach me how to love thunder, to love rain. Teach me to embrace the high winds, the floods. Teach me. Teach me. Teach me. 

Yes. I used my storm. I used the water from the clouds to nourish the flowers that are blooming today. God knew how to handle my enemies better than I ever could have.

 He kept me. God kept me, so I wouldn’t let go. 

Without lifting a finger, vindication was activated in my life. 

Let God. 2 words with enough power to change a life. 


Fight alone. 2 words that can destroy you. 

Choose God. 

Stay full

Pro 27:7  When you are full, you will not even eat honey. When you are hungry, even something bitter tastes sweet

Every time I go to Chili’s, I order a large entrée and the Molten Chocolate Cake for dessert. After my huge meal, even chocolate chip cookies look disgusting to me. Chocolate chip cookies are my weakness. I love love love chocolate chip cookies. 

If my husband and I have plans to eat at IHOP for lunch, we skip breakfast. I get so hungry that dry saltine crackers look delicious. 

When I read Proberbs 27:7 I was like duhhhh. “What wisdom do you have oh King Solomon.” But I knew God had purpose with this verse. 

I was once blessed to be able to listen to podcasts at work. One day, I went through 6 hours of sermons that I felt like a cup overflowing with water. I felt so spiritually full that if someone tried to serve me a spoonful of sugar coated scripture, I’d reject it. I didn’t need it. I didn’t want it. I was so full that even the sweetest most useful words that def could have justified my misdeeds, sins and bad ideas couldn’t alter what God was trying to change in my life. 

I too have experienced spiritual starvation when the dumbest Instagram quote spoke to my ego and I mistook it for a “message from God”. Or taking advice from a friend who is spiteful and bitter the majority of their life. 
Like the scripture says, “even something bitter tastes sweet”.

There is more to what meets the eye in this verse. It teaches me that a life without prayer and scripture can often lead you down the wrong paths in life. 

I’d rather pray about my next productive step than to have to pray myself out of the wrong path. 


Rumors are your blessings

Mat 5:11 “People will insult you and hurt you. They will lie and say all kinds of evil things about you because you follow me. But when they do that, know that great blessings belong to you.

Why does the enemy choose to target our testimony? I guess there isn’t anything worse than having a bad rep and represent Jesus at the same time. It’s a smart tactic. Bad rep = zero credibility. 
Life has taught me that even if haters spread rumors that are indeed true, that still doesn’t stop Gods name from being glorified. 
Fam, remember, when they talk, you get blessings and they get nothing but bitterness. 



On the streets of my previous job, there was a man who lived on the sidewalk. He sat there inside of what looked like a fort made of cardboard. He had a large white paint bucket, a stroller covered in a black garbage bag and a blue and white cooler. He sat right in front of the entrance to my job so I saw him every single day. He looked like he made the best of his situation and pretty much made that piece of sidewalk his home. 
One day, it was raining and he was standing under the small awning of my building. Every day he wore a green flight jacket and it looked like he wore lots of layers underneath. When I passed him, we spoke for a little and I ran upstairs to my office. To me, he was a fully concious regular old man. Deep down, I wanted to know more about this man so I decided to make time to talk to him or at least buy him breakfast and make small talk. (Not everyone is willing to tell you their life’s story. Always take it step by step.)

Another morning, I went to Duncan Donuts and bought him a bagel with cream cheese and a medium coffee with milk and sugar.  That day it snowed and, as usual, he was taking cover under the awning of my building.  He cheerfully said,

“The snow isn’t bad at all, see! It slides right off my jacket.” I laughed and said

“You know, you’re right, it’s not even that cold outside.” 

It’s like we both agreed that the day was beautiful and not as bad as people made it seem. 

I gave him his breakfast and he was so greatful for it. Deep down I didn’t feel like I did anything special. I just felt like I did what I was supposed to do. This man was hungry and like any other hungry person that would cross my path, I’d get em’ food. It’s just common courtesy. I wanted to do something that would make a small difference in this mans life but I wasn’t sure. 

My friend Joanna told me that Henry likes black coffee, no milk or sugar. “GOOD!” I thought, “He should get what he prefers. Nothing less. ”

One afternoon, I was eating lunch and I didn’t finish it. My coworker urged me to give Henry my leftovers. I was extremely offended but I couldn’t show it. It wasn’t fair to my coworker who didn’t know any better. I thought to myself, “I would never serve my husband or children my left over food IF I myself had a fresh HOT meal in my belly.”

Henry taught me a lot. He taught me how to be greatful through all circumstances, how to be grateful for everything given to me and how to be specific in my petitions. 

The next morning, I went to Duncan Donuts again and got him his perfered black coffee and a bagel. Before I handed it to him, Henry said, 

” I like black coffee.” I told him,

“Yup! I’m ahead of the game!”

Another coworker heard us talking and said “uhhh. He should take whatever is given to him. He shouldn’t be asking for anything specific! It’s free!” 

Why? Why can’t he ask for black coffee? Is it because he’s homeless. Because you think he is beneath you?! 

Henry, thank you for unknowingly stealing my heart. You have allowed me to discover my purpose. You’ve allowed me to open up my eyes to the true perspective of this world towards humanity. I pray that healing pours through your body and that God removes any sicknessess that disturbs you. Your heart is a lot more cleaner than some people on this earth full of riches. Don’t be discouraged. 

I’m not blogging about this to glorify anything that I’ve done in fact, I’m quite ashamed that I didn’t do more for him. Although, society seems more cruel than loving, I can say that I saw a lot of people take time out of their busy day to help this man. People stopped to give him cash, shoes, food, umbrellas and most importantly, hope. 

I know this entry is all over the place but my expierence with Henry is too lengthy to write. And I’m sleepy.

 Just remember scripture,

Matthew 25:40 

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Treat your neighbor as yourself and bring a little hope to the next discouraged soul that you bump into. 


The divine standard of Holiness. Can we meet it alone? 

“Be Holy as I am Holy” it seems as if there is and will always be a gap between the Holiness of God and man. 

1 Peter 1:16
16 because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.”

🎉🎉🎉It’s Christ!!!

Heb 10:10  Jesus Christ did the things God wanted him to do. And because of that, we are made holy through the sacrifice of Christ’s body. Christ made that sacrifice one time—enough for all time.

“Holiness in Christ” fills that gap between God and man. In CHRIST! the Holiness of God has found US!
For those who believe in Christ and yet know not how to be Holy, here is the answer: You are Holy in Christ Jesus. 
I’m going to go ahead and discard my own thoughts and ignore my own wisdom when it comes to Holiness. In the end, God is the only one who can reveal what being Holy truly means. As per scripture, I only have one person to depend on to bring me to that divine standard: CHRIST JESUS! 👏🏽