True Convo

My Child! Let’s sit. I missed you so much

I need you to know that you’re loved a bunch.

I know that life has clouded the truth

So let’s start here! tell me, what bothers you?

 

I asked The All Knowing All Powerful and True

Don’t you already know where I’ve been and what I’ve been through?

 

He said of course I do my love, don’t be so confused.

I’d just love to hear from your point of view.

 

I said, I grew up fatherless and the pain stings til this day.

It distorts the truth of who You are, like you’re not here to stay.

He didn’t love me enough to raise me

He didn’t care enough to look for me

He wasn’t there to protect me

He wasn’t there to love me

They say You’re The Father of all who believe

A Father? So that must mean You too will leave.

 

He said, I’m sorry about the gap that put between us.

I want to restore you but you need to trust.

I’m not the son of man that I should lie.

Give me a chance my daughter, don’t pass me by.

 

I yelled, fine I give in! What then do I call you?

God? The Holy one? Master? To me, who are you?

 

He whispered; Call me Daddy to keep you from religious habits.

There is no easy way to do this or grasp it.

We need time, relationship and honesty.

At anytime, just know you can call on me.

In any place in any way, don’t worry my child.

I have all the patience in this world; I can wait a long while.

 

But don’t lose sight of me in the rain.

Then all you will ever see is your pain.

And Sunday school is not in session,

Because this is a flying lesson.

So Hold my hand, we will do this together

I am God. I’ll be with you forever.

A flying lesson? I said swiftly and excited.

That sounds too fun, is it okay to be delighted?

I mean, It seems You’re a bore the way they speak of you.

Don’t you punish and condemn like you’re known to do?

 

Punish and condemn? He questioned and smiled lightly.

Is that all they are saying about me?

Seems like my words are heavily mediated by my people.

You know, you have full access to my steeple?

 

NO! Because you are Holy and too far for me to reach.

Free access to you is not what they teach.

Don’t I have to be right with you to be considered?

Can you just fix me now like a wizard?

Your Holiness seems so cold and sterile.

Obvious to me, my life is in peril

 

He replied to me with so much love and Grace

Your heart I want. Your heart I chase.

Come to me as your are

Your idea of me is so far

I am Love, I am peace, I am your foundation

Believe in me child. I am your salvation.

 

 

Advertisements

Nothing More Than Feelings

We respond so hastily to our feelings. We may even pay more attention to our own feelings than the Written Word of God. There have been plenty of times when I felt God’s love for me was nonexistent, but I learned that those feelings were far from the truth. I listened to those lies over and over until scripture went through one ear and came out the other. Listening to our own feelings produces an invisible barrier around the heart that blocks the truth from entering. Ever felt like the pastor was preaching an encouraging, grace filled sermon that you felt didn’t apply to you? Those are feelings taking over preventing The Truth to come to life.

 
God has taught me through various trials that I had to pursue Him even in the hardest, busiest times of my life. When things are going smoothly, reading scripture is easy. Seeking God is no struggle. It’s when life takes over, when 24hrs isn’t enough to get things done, when everyday we’re in survival mode that we may stop making God priority without even knowing it. Making sure rent is paid is super important to all of us. Making sure there is food in the fridge for our children is vital. The enemy is keen to what matters to us the most and may choose to attack those areas to distract us. Yes, we pray and ask God for help but that 1 hour a day we used to seek His face sometimes turns to 10 minutes. Its human to respond to our feelings, to respond to an empty refrigerator, to a negative bank account, to loneliness, but it is spiritual to respond with urgency to the Holy Ghost.

 
Once we begin to push and bring ourselves out of the funk, we begin to see miracles. The struggle may not be over, but the anxiety disappears. We start to see the little love gestures God puts in front of us to show that He is in control… that He cares. There are many verses with stories of people who lost hope and God came through. Read them, and declare the restoration of your hope. Fight through the feelings, don’t give in! God has the last word.

 

Read about Sarah! Pregnant at old age???

Read about the woman with the issue of blood whos hope was restored

Moses also “felt” a certain way about himself

Eyes on the prize sister

Eyes on the prize sister,

What’s the reason why?

You look left and there she is

your enemy passing by.

She’s smiling and showing

all her great plans.

Eyes on the prize sister.

It’s a trap, grab my hand.

I’ll help you through it.

Wont beat you to it.

I’ll be by your side.

Helping you to the prize.

Eyes on the prize sister.

What glitters isn’t gold.

Listen to me my friend,

I’ll push you to the goal.

My prayers,

my compassion.

I love you within

Eyes on the prize sister.

When you win, I win.

 

 

Let Your Will Be Done

 

If you haven’t realized God’s character yet, you wouldn’t receive this blog the way it is intended to be received.

 

Only the courageous could pray “Let your will be done”. God’s will for us is not to be comfortable, it is not easy and its process produces tears like never before. “Let Your will be done” you say? Let’s examine those words…

 

Let:

 

Are you prepared to “let” and not fight it? Imagine caring for a toddler who loves to play in mud. Now, you spend a lot of your energy keeping him from going near mud. You sit him down but he gets up again, you put one of those child leashes on him and he screams, you take him elsewhere but you see him yearning for that mud. Then, a stranger passes by and says, “Just let him play in the mud”. Finally, you let him go and for some odd reason, there is peace. You sit down, relax, read a book peacefully knowing he is in the mud enjoying himself. Yes, in the back of your mind you know you must clean him up but that struggle doesn’t amount to the struggle of keeping him away from the mud. Letting God do His will in your life means that you are aware of the mess that will follow and can maintain your peace in the process. You obey His word and refrain from using alternatives to make the process easier. A great prize comes with a great fight and God’s will is never insignificant.

 

Your Will:

 

God is clear when He speaks about His will for all the believers.

 

Mark 16:15 And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.

 

If our deepest desires do not connect with Mark 16:15, I don’t think our plans would be aligned with God’s will for us. Yes, we have desires like getting married, having children, buying a home etc. but if those desires do not connect with God’s ultimate plan, we might realize that after obtaining what we want, we develop a desire for something else. The wants of the world never end. There is always something new we must get our hands on. When we trust God with our lives, our fleshy desires diminish. We find ourselves being please with what we have and prepared to share our abundance with those who do not. Once we submit to God’s will, God will then give us what we most desired. Scripture says,

 

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well

Be Done:

 

I know a woman who was ministered to about what God had planned for her life. She was supposed to leave her job and open her own business along with taking care of some ministerial duties. She was so down and distraught about how her finances at home and probably within a month, she went back on the job market to start working again. She heard the call, she obeyed but couldn’t go through with it. She lost faith in God because of what was going on around her. If we are aware of God’s character, we know that God uses the most impossible situation to manifest Himself. If at any time, we used our own strength to bring ourselves out of a mess, God could not get all the credit. He will step back from our problem and let you work it out yourself. I mean, He is a gentleman.

 

“Let Your will be done” isn’t a simple prayer. It requires one to deny himself completely for the prayer to come to life. This prayer isn’t for the faint at heart.

 

What a Love We Found!

If our strength comes from the joy of the Lord (Nehemiah 8:10), what do we think of that sparks that joy. Is it the things that He has done for us? Miracles, breakthroughs or victories? How about His love? There is a song by Phil Wickham called “Your Love Awakens Me” and I have it on my “Worship” playlist on my phone for many reasons. I can’t unlock the best of what God has for me unless I am fully aware of how much He loves me.

The world has made it difficult. Some of us were raised without fathers. The person responsible for being a leader, a provider, to be our security and our standard of love…nowhere to be found. How could we understand the magnitude of God’s love if we don’t know how it feels to be loved? Some of us placed our hearts in the hands of a spouse and they tore it into pieces leaving nothing but empty promises, betrayal and abandonment. How could we ever trust a Being that isn’t visible or a God that isn’t perceptible? They say to trust in the Lord but trusting the closest people in our lives has proven to guide us towards sorrow and failure.

God is way ahead of us and already knows our deepest troubles hindering us from receiving the fullness of His love. Like scripture says, all we need to do is touch the boarder of His garment for a breakthrough. Push through the crowds, reach out and His power will begin to flow. Sometimes, we must give love another chance. This time, from God. Read scriptures daily and watch how the words come alive for you in your time of need.

When His love awakens us, we begin to see who we are in Him. We are set apart, special, the apple of His eye. He cares for our sorrows, He cares for our pain. He puts peace into our hearts when things seem to be at its worst. I’ve witnessed His love to be more powerful than any other thing that claims to offer love in any other form. Because of His love, He has taught me to love my family like He loves me. Not just an ordinary love but a love that requires sacrifice. I sacrifice myself, my desires, my comforts and my will for them and I will do it over and over until I die. That is what His Love has done for me. It awakened my spirit to be a better person. To lift myself from despair or to break out of my shortcomings. He teaches me and molds me into His image every time I get a taste of the Love He has for me. I can’t measure His love; therefore, I can’t imagine how great it is. When He simply shows me a hint of His heart, I can’t contain myself. His love for me opened my eyes to the sorrow of this world. Suddenly, I want to dedicate my life to the ministry and give it all I have. I mean, He gave me His Only Son.  

We can’t receive His love unless we tunnel our eyes towards Him. Forget what others has done to you and give it one more shot, that’s if you are at your last. You won’t regret it. I don’t speak in the voice of religion but in the heart of… – I understand because that was once me –

Live everyday in all CAPS!

 I simply had the awesomest Mother’s Day weekend EVER! Food, NYC, Church, BBQ, 15 mile bike ride, and lots and lots of cuddling 😆😉 all coordinated by my sexy husband!  

This is my lifestyle. Always trying something new, going to different places, meeting new people etc. This is how I choose to live and I won’t let any negativity stop me! 

I want to say thank you to my husband for supporting the active, upbeat, artistic, awesome person that I am. I  also want to thank my friends for being awesome too! 😘😘

  

  

  

  

The firm Conviction in Jesus

I was listening to a podcast from Dr. J. Vernon McGee and I had to take down this portion of his message in regards to the fear of death. As humans, we all fear the last day of our lives. When I heard this story, I was able to see the perspective of someone who knew that he was about to die. That’s not a common perspective to learn about so I absorbed every piece of it. This is a beautiful example of a true believer in Christ and this is where I want my mind to be on that day.

There was yonder, during WWII in Holland, a Dutch boy, 22 years old, captured with 2 other companions as he was attempting to escape England and join the Dutch army there. The Germans condemned him to go before the firing squad. Just a few hours before he went before the firing squad, he sat down and wrote his dad a letter. Here is what he said.

 

Difficult for me, dear father, to write this letter to you, but I have to tell you that the military court has pronounced a very heavy sentence upon us. Read this letter alone and then tell mother carefully. In a little while at 5 oclock, it’s going to happen. That’s not so terrible, I do not fear. I have the firm conviction that I may look forward to a death in Christ. It is after all only one moment, then I shall be with God. No more terrible miseries in the sadness of this earth. Is that such a terrible transition?

 

I know I shall see you all again.

 

What is your hope today?

How do you know it’s from God?

It’s super important to read the bible. We all need answers to our many life questions without going over what scripture says about it. I’m going to go over a few scenarios to demonstrate what I’m trying to prove here.

Is this apartment for me God? It has parking and heat/hot water is included! It’s in a furnished basement which will make it easy to bring in groceries. Its not a registered apartment so there is no lease so that’s a plus.

The Lord tells us to make sure our dealings are legal and honest. Is the apartment from God? I don’t know? All I know is that an unregistered apartment is breaking some type of law. God will always bless our silly choices somehow but maybe, if we waited, there would be something better.

God, this job looks pretty amazing. 65k a year, 401k, medical benefits and incentives. Lord, this has to be for me. All I have to do is process some paperwork, go to the bank and answer phone calls and tell the callers that my boss isn’t here. I’m going to take it.

Is it from God? So you tell the callers the boss isn’t there? Now, what if he is always there and now you find yourself lying everyday.  Like I said, God May bless us, but would it be the best blessing? Imagine if we rejected such an appealing job for our spiritual sake. I’m sure God will give us a better job that pays more.

I love this man. He is charming and cute. He has a car, a great job and has it all together. He says he loves me and is always there when I need him. He’s a man of God and helps me spiritually when I’m down. We hang out all the time but we have to keep it on the low. He’s in the process of getting a divorce and I don’t want us  to effect the judges decision in regards to his kids. Is he from God? Is this my soul mate?

Um, no

Marriage is an eternal bond forever and always. You can fight for a married man and plan a future with him but you’ll find yourself building your foundation on sand. The house may stand during those beautiful, sunny days oh but when that storm comes, you guys WILL drown. To amend to the whole eternal bond thing, the majority of divorced men wish their relationship worked out with their first wife and regret the divorce. Not all not all. Don’t go crazy. Just look out for a faithfully praying ex wife. Then you got a problem.

Reading the bible helps us understand God’s character to determine what is for us and what is not. If God said no to one thing in the bible, that no still applies to us today. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He’s not a man that lies so when he says something, He means it. Quit playing ignorant and reach out for what’s best for you, even if it means you have to drop something.

Hope this helped

Ps,

Help me pray that this month my family and I finally move out this basement. This unregistered basement. 😉  hehe

image