Good Friends Refuse to Mind Their Business

I’m normally that friend that if you’re going through something, I’ll leave you alone about it. I don’t believe in forcing myself in places that I don’t belong. I always care deeply for my friends but I also want to respect others and their personal problems. If someone NEEDED me to know, they’d tell me right off the bat right?

Well, apparently I’m WRONG! I found myself one day breaking down the wall my friend built because I wouldn’t allow her to make me mind my business. “I love you and I NEED to know whats going on”. 2 of my closest friends did this to me recently. “So you think I’m going to sit here and let you figure it out on your own.?” Heckkkkk no!

When I first got married, the adults in my life kept quiet every time there was an issue with my husband and I. They said it wasn’t their place to involve themselves and when I think about it today, I get mad. You could have helped me be a better wife. You could have given me advice. Instead you left us behind to rot.

That memory is what drives me to drive my buddies crazy. I’ll ask my friend, “Why do you seem upset at your husband? What’s going on?”. “Ohhh nothing. I’ll get over it.”

No, you don’t need to just get over it. You don’t need to go through this alone. Let’s discuss. Let’s figure out a way to make it better.

Don’t use this method on people you barely know. This is useful for the strong friendships/ relationships in your life. Be mindful of the people who fight to know your business just to manipulate you. Those are not real friends. Make sure your friend has proven their loyalty and integrity before you decide to trust them with your life.

The main word here is accountability. If I had the solutions to your stress and the experience in your problem, I am completely accountable for the result of your battle. If you lose, I lose.

Get rid of the source of your struggles

Situation:

-Fruit flies, fruit flies everywhere. Where are they coming from?

-There is a source to this madness. I must find the source!

-I’m going to thoroughly clean every room in the house to see if I find that source.

*cleans all rooms

*dust, sweeps, mops

-Can’t find source, flies still roaming my house

*Moves furniture around, sweeps, mops… Nothing!

*Finished cleaning, prepares lunch

* Needs to use toaster oven but metal tray is on top, need to remove metal tray (Toaster oven located on top of kitchen stand overhead)

*Touches something squishy

*removes hand quickly in fear because the imagination immediately fabricated an image of a severed hand.

*Looks above tray and finds swarms of flies.

*Looks at nearest window.

* Opens the window and looks out assuring no one is in the backyard.

*Grabs tray and tosses it out the window!

What was it? What gave these fruit flies the idea that they could live in my house rent free? (Def not a severed hand LOL)

Every circumstance I go through must somehow connect with scripture. Everything happens for a reason and I won’t let this fruit fly fiasco happen I vain.

“There is a source that is feeding these flies. I have to find it and get rid of it.”

We must understand that there is a source to our struggle that we fail to conquer every day. For example, if the lack of prayer is your struggle, the source may be Netflix. If weight gain is your struggle, the source may be your chocolate stash. Maybe the chocolate stash is just the surface of the source and there is something a lot deeper than that. Perhaps its depression. I find prayer to be very important to overcome our daily struggles. In prayer, we speak to the Lord and let our frustrations out. We ask God to reveal in us what needs to be revealed and help us get through them. Days may pass that the source of our struggle is still a mystery but in the meantime, we should start off by cleaning each room. The next day, we can dust and sweep. We can mop with the floor cleaner called scripture. The more you make the effort to change, the closer you are to revelation. Usually, God will show you when you least expect it.

Don’t let your struggles consume you. There is no change without effort. If I allowed my home to pile up with trash, the flies would have found multiple sources and it would have been more difficult to get rid of. As soon as I found the rotten bananas hiding in the metal tray, I made the decision to toss the bananas with the tray out the window immediately. I didn’t take 5 minutes to think about it. I didn’t examine the bananas to see why they attracted the flies. In fact, I didn’t know it was a bunch of bananas until I looked out the window after I threw it. My husband asked why I didn’t place it in a bag and carried it outside. I said “you have no idea how it went down”. The longer I handled the bananas in the house, the more the flies scattered. THAT TRAY NEEDED TO GO O.U.T!

I still see a few flies here and there but I know that eventually, they’ll die. There is no area in my home that they can live and thrive. I decontaminated my house before I found the source so I was ahead of their game. Right now, I have a few dishes in the sink and I see some hovering over it. Although we found the source of our struggles, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t upkeep our spiritual life afterwards.

Fruit flies need food. Starve them.