Good evening ladies and gentlemen,
It’s been months since my last post and I’m actually pleased about it. I’ve been too busy living to write. My notebook is empty, my google drive a lot cleaner and my mind… content. I have a new outlook in life and this view allows less desire for blogging.
It was a Sunday like today when I looked at my husband and said “Let’s move to Florida”. He always wanted to move but he patiently waited for me to give the okay. Well I gave the okay and man, I was scared.
4 months in and I don’t see myself ever looking back. Unless of course there is an emergency that I’d have to pack up and leave but other than that, Florida is home. Imagine if I let fear control me. I would have missed out on a lot.
I’m not pretending there wasn’t a struggle. There was struggle and we still see struggle today. It’s just that I’m so thankful for God guiding us and helping us through. For showing His sovereignty in the midst of turmoil.
I have great friends. Great co-workers. I’ve seen so much favor. I’ve witnessed miracles and wonders. More strength came upon me. More growth within me. More Joy in my heart. Sometimes you need to be further from comfort to see more clearly. To feel more often. To stop and absorb God’s goodness. To thrive.
There is purpose when I am and I’m just anxious to see what’s next.
When I look back to the days when I cried everyday. The days of hurt, abuse, betrayal, loneliness and desperation, I realize that there was purpose in it all. I needed the pain to grow. Without the pain, I couldn’t see the promising road ahead of me. I’ll never go back and redo those days. Those days to me are GOLD.
To my mistakes
To my accusers
To my enemies
To anyone who did me wrong.
Thanks to you, My feet are on solid ground.
This trophy is FOR YOU
Take it. 🏆
How many times have people tried to slow me down from progressing?
I have a passion but these voices want me to lose my blessing.
And how many times have I heard a verse against my passions?
It’s their attempt for me to move in their form or fashion.
I’m not them, you, her or him.
I’m me. So don’t try to change this woman within.
It’s MY thought process, MY Goals, MY interest His Soul.
So don’t come at me with words or heavy blows.
It’s MY character, MY confidence, MY artistic nature.
You want to change me well consult my Maker. 🙏🏽
Forgiveness is a everyday, every person kinda thing. You don’t get to choose when to forgive, who and why. You just do it all the time and for everyone.
Don’t be the person to push the topic of forgiveness for someone in particular when you judge the majority of others.
Don’t be the person that is quick to forgive yourself and stops at the idea of forgiving someone else
Don’t be the person to be so quick to forgive someone else and slow to forgive yourself.
Easier said than done but failing to comply can result in a Sovereign God calling you out on it all.
Me: How does your current husband feel when you bring up your deceased husband?
Yan: He gets bothered because that was my past life and we’re doing new things and making new memories. Thankfully he understands that I may miss him and I may think of him often. I guess he’s not entirely bothered.
Me: Yeah, it’s not like you guys divorced. You loved him fully and then he was gone. The love just doesn’t disappear right? Do you visit his grave?
Yan: No. When I used to visit the grave, I felt worse. I couldn’t find peace to move on. He was gone and I had to continue life all by myself. My kids still needed mommy, bills didn’t stop coming, I just had to somehow find peace and that meant I had to stop visiting his grave.
Me: How did your family feel when you started dating again?
Yan: They didn’t like him because he didn’t have money. He wasn’t taking us from a pit and placing me and my children in a palace. He asked me “Do you want to struggle together” and I said yes. In this life we’re always going to struggle so why not struggle in agreement together? My family didn’t like the fact that I was actually dating again after my first husband passed. Therefore, I moved to another state. Away from my family who kept judging me on top of the pain I was already going through and away from all the people who knew my deceased husband and would look at me with pity every time they saw me. I hated that.
Me: The passing of your husband must have changed your outlook in life. I mean, I could tell because you’re so level headed.
Yan: I don’t pay attention to the new trends, clothing, looks, money, and things. I treat people the way I want to be treated. I take pleasure in the small things.
Life is so much more than what people make it.
I’m not the best at anything. Jack of some trades, master of none. But there is something about having passion in what you do that gives your work a little boost in comparison with others.
I love to write but my grammar stinks. Punctuation is my enemy. Spelling is like Satan’s plan against my life but spell check is the Blood of Jesus.
Imagine if i compared my writing with the smarty-est smarty pants of the writing world. Girl, I’ll quit right now. But MY perspective is the game changer. My style is like ice cream and Edgar Allen Poe’s style is like Filet mignon. BOTH FOODS ARE AWESOME depending on what you’re craving.
Keep the passion in what you do without comparing yourself to anyone else. You are the only you in this world.
Unless your passion is in math cuz girl, 2+2 will always be 4 and no matter how much passion you got, numbers don’t change. Sorry math ppl.
You might assume that being a Christian gives you first dibs on God’s blessings. New house, new car, financial security etc. But the more I think about Christ and His life here on earth, the more I begin to realize that being a CHRIST-tian should be more than any material blessing. I often hear sermons about naming it and claiming it, sow this money seed and watch it grow into thousands, and tithing expecting some type of money return. I’m not denying God’s ability to provide even our deepest desires, I’m saying…it’s not something Jesus had or wanted while He was here on earth.
Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” Matthew 8:20
Jesus’ heart did not desire anything for himself but for the world. He was so focused on the salvation of man that He never worried about the next meal or the next time He was going to rest His head on a comfortable bed. Thinking about it, Jesus found His disciples sleeping outside at some points
Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. (Matthew 26:40)
Idk, sounded like they were used to snoozing outside lol.
It wasn’t Jesus’ desire to ask God for “things”. His prayers were filled with the concern for His people. For the world. I keep this in mind often. If i want to be Christlike, I have to re-evaluate my prayers. What are my hopes and dreams? How often to i concern myself with the salvation of my family, friends, ppl in the streets?
God’s will for Jesus was the death on The Cross. Jesus’ will for His disciples was to preach the gospel which resulted in persecution. What is God’s will for me? To be happy? To be Too blessed to be stressed? Rich and relaxed? Those things sound great but while I’m here on earth, should that be my ultimate desire?
This is episode idk of the Bus Chronicles because I’m too lazy to check which episode I’m in. I think number 3
I can tell when someone is pretending to be kind to me.
I can tell when someone is bragging about their success but disguises it with humility.
I can tell when someone is making an effort to prove that they’re better than me.
I can tell
So i let them speak
I play along
I act naive
Because the more they do it, the sillier they look and that’s amusing to me.
If it seems as life isn’t on your side
And all you can do is sob
Put the enemy beneath your feet
Cuz you’re doing a great job
It seems like life isn’t in your favor
Your name may be subject to their chatter.
All great people are subject to critics
Cuz Livi, you matter!
Life SEEMS to be mean
Life SEEMS to be an enemy
But let’s look through another perspective
Because life was a friend to me
It gave me strength and purpose and will.
It was mean at times but it wasn’t until –
I surpassed all the trials that came to me.
Cuz Life opens your eyes to what you’re supposed to see.
You reject Jesus
Because you consider yourselves unworthy of
I’m at ease when i find myself struggling in the daily. I am working endlessly on enhancing my Medical Billing knowledge and it has required me to constantly step out my comfort zone. In order for me to be the best, i need to KNOW the competition. I need to know how they’re excelling, where do they slack, their office cycle, the chain of command, what makes the staff happy, what makes them upset etc. I do endless research on figuring out how to get the most money when coding procedures because it’s not just about coding the right way. It’s also knowing the many insurance guidelines to get the most income. There are deadlines to comply to, appeals to write, insurance companies to fight with… its a lot. My goal is to be the BEST AT IT and once i notice I’m comfortable, i know something is wrong. The medical billing field is fierce but every billing company i stepped foot into were very mechanical. Not one had an open mind to figure out ways to be proactive. I plan to be a pioneer in this field and i can’t for not one minute….rest.
What are your goals? Who do you want to be. What do you want to do? Find what that is and go full force. In this world you have to go all or nothing! Once you are comfortable, you’re in danger! There is no growth there.
This is episode 3 of The Bus Chronicles. Enjoy your day!
Check out my website Kingdom Medical Billing