Do you still visit his grave?

Me: How does your current husband feel when you bring up your deceased husband?

Yan: He gets bothered because that was my past life and we’re doing new things and making new memories. Thankfully he understands that I may miss him and I may think of him often. I guess he’s not entirely bothered.

Me: Yeah, it’s not like you guys divorced. You loved him fully and then he was gone. The love just doesn’t disappear right? Do you visit his grave?

Yan: No. When I used to visit the grave, I felt worse. I couldn’t find peace to move on. He was gone and I had to continue life all by myself. My kids still needed mommy, bills didn’t stop coming, I just had to somehow find peace and that meant I had to stop visiting his grave.

Me: How did your family feel when you started dating again?

Yan: They didn’t like him because he didn’t have money. He wasn’t taking us from a pit and placing me and my children in a palace. He asked me “Do you want to struggle together” and I said yes. In this life we’re always going to struggle so why not struggle in agreement together? My family didn’t like the fact that I was actually dating again after my first husband passed. Therefore, I moved to another state. Away from my family who kept judging me on top of the pain I was already going through and away from all the people who knew my deceased husband and would look at me with pity every time they saw me. I hated that.

Me: The passing of your husband must have changed your outlook in life. I mean, I could tell because you’re so level headed.

Yan: I don’t pay attention to the new trends, clothing, looks, money, and things. I treat people the way I want to be treated. I take pleasure in the small things.

Life is so much more than what people make it.

Advertisements

Never Compare Yourself

I’m not the best at anything. Jack of some trades, master of none. But there is something about having passion in what you do that gives your work a little boost in comparison with others.

I love to write but my grammar stinks. Punctuation is my enemy. Spelling is like Satan’s plan against my life but spell check is the Blood of Jesus.

Imagine if i compared my writing with the smarty-est smarty pants of the writing world. Girl, I’ll quit right now. But MY perspective is the game changer. My style is like ice cream and Edgar Allen Poe’s style is like Filet mignon. BOTH FOODS ARE AWESOME depending on what you’re craving.

Keep the passion in what you do without comparing yourself to anyone else. You are the only you in this world.

Unless your passion is in math cuz girl, 2+2 will always be 4 and no matter how much passion you got, numbers don’t change. Sorry math ppl.

Re-evaluating my Dreams

You might assume that being a Christian gives you first dibs on God’s blessings. New house, new car, financial security etc. But the more I think about Christ and His life here on earth, the more I begin to realize that being a CHRIST-tian should be more than any material blessing. I often hear sermons about naming it and claiming it, sow this money seed and watch it grow into thousands, and tithing expecting some type of money return. I’m not denying God’s ability to provide even our deepest desires, I’m saying…it’s not something Jesus had or wanted while He was here on earth.

Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” Matthew 8:20

Jesus’ heart did not desire anything for himself but for the world. He was so focused on the salvation of man that He never worried about the next meal or the next time He was going to rest His head on a comfortable bed. Thinking about it, Jesus found His disciples sleeping outside at some points

Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. (Matthew 26:40)

Idk, sounded like they were used to snoozing outside lol.

It wasn’t Jesus’ desire to ask God for “things”. His prayers were filled with the concern for His people. For the world. I keep this in mind often. If i want to be Christlike, I have to re-evaluate my prayers. What are my hopes and dreams? How often to i concern myself with the salvation of my family, friends, ppl in the streets?

God’s will for Jesus was the death on The Cross. Jesus’ will for His disciples was to preach the gospel which resulted in persecution. What is God’s will for me? To be happy? To be Too blessed to be stressed? Rich and relaxed? Those things sound great but while I’m here on earth, should that be my ultimate desire?

This is episode idk of the Bus Chronicles because I’m too lazy to check which episode I’m in. I think number 3

I can tell

I can tell when someone is pretending to be kind to me.

I can tell when someone is bragging about their success but disguises it with humility.

I can tell when someone is making an effort to prove that they’re better than me.

I can tell

So i let them speak

I play along

I act naive

Because the more they do it, the sillier they look and that’s amusing to me.

Dear Livi

Dear Livi

If it seems as life isn’t on your side

And all you can do is sob

Put the enemy beneath your feet

Cuz you’re doing a great job

It seems like life isn’t in your favor

Your name may be subject to their chatter.

All great people are subject to critics

Cuz Livi, you matter!

Life SEEMS to be mean

Life SEEMS to be an enemy

But let’s look through another perspective

Because life was a friend to me

It gave me strength and purpose and will.

It was mean at times but it wasn’t until –

I surpassed all the trials that came to me.

Cuz Life opens your eyes to what you’re supposed to see.

Comfort zone = Danger zone

I’m at ease when i find myself struggling in the daily. I am working endlessly on enhancing my Medical Billing knowledge and it has required me to constantly step out my comfort zone. In order for me to be the best, i need to KNOW the competition. I need to know how they’re excelling, where do they slack, their office cycle, the chain of command, what makes the staff happy, what makes them upset etc. I do endless research on figuring out how to get the most money when coding procedures because it’s not just about coding the right way. It’s also knowing the many insurance guidelines to get the most income. There are deadlines to comply to, appeals to write, insurance companies to fight with… its a lot. My goal is to be the BEST AT IT and once i notice I’m comfortable, i know something is wrong. The medical billing field is fierce but every billing company i stepped foot into were very mechanical. Not one had an open mind to figure out ways to be proactive. I plan to be a pioneer in this field and i can’t for not one minute….rest.

What are your goals? Who do you want to be. What do you want to do? Find what that is and go full force. In this world you have to go all or nothing! Once you are comfortable, you’re in danger! There is no growth there.

This is episode 3 of The Bus Chronicles. Enjoy your day!

Check out my website Kingdom Medical Billing

@authkg

IT. You know, the clown?

Im not a big scary movie fan. I refuse to watch anything demonic for obvious reasons so when I saw that IT was available to watch, I was like, oh good, a normal, scary, not demonic movie.

What was that for? I couldn’t sleep allll night cuz the dang movie was creepy. The clown shows up in public places where you think it’s safe and i wasn’t having that. The moral of the story was poppin tho. If you stick together and face your fears, you can beat the clown. If you haven’t watched the movie, this may be a spoil alert. This ugly clown had power against the children only if they were scared of him. Every time they faced their fears, he had absolutely no power.

I laugh at myself cuz i always have to find something good in everything i watch. I don’t recommend watching the movie because you might lose sleep like i did but if you must must watch it, take this message with you.

1. Face your fears

2. You can’t do it alone. A good friend will help and support you.

3. Don’t go after red balloons

4. DO NOT GIVE IN

This is episode 2 of my Bus Chronicles. Have an awesome day!

Currently, we are pending news about a bomb that went off in Times Square which is effecting Jersey City’s NJ transit commute (the bus I’m in). Praying nothing serious comes out of all of this.

They look up to you, then down at you. Don’t fret.

Ever felt a whole lot of pressure because of someone’s high expectation of you? I know I have but one thing that settles my anxiety is knowing that as long as I do MY best, disappointing those who are watching me has no effect on my own view of myself.

We can’t take responsibility of how someone chooses to look up to you or look down at you. We all wake up and face a new day with a new attitude and a new outlook in life that effects the way we view others and how others view us. In this emotionally inconsistent world, we have to prepare to impress someone or let someone down. And not be too boastful or too ashamed.

Don’t fret over anyone’s view of you. Don’t beat yourself over the head when you’ve disappointed someone because in the end, you can’t please the world. You see how pleasing God first comes to play? I’m not saying you have to have it right all the time, I’m saying that on your day to day decisions, acknowledge God. For every action, take a moment and ask God for guidance. Do YOUR best, and God will handle the rest. Cliche i know. Lol

That is all for bus chronicles episode 1. Have a great day!