My husband has often told me that the kids run circles around me. And yes, they do. They manipulate me. Not maliciously. Not even on purpose. I am so predictable in my actions and daily patterns that the kids just know how to work me to get what they want.
Yeah, I’ve been in denial about it. But for some reason, at 3 a.m. this morning, I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about how and when they manipulate me. I want to be ahead of their game for once. So I’ll organize this post by listing each child in order from oldest to youngest, with details of my observations, if you will.
Daisy – The Strategist.
Her tool against me: vulnerability and mirroring.
My weakness: values and empathy.
Her move: confessing a half-truth to gain trust.
Can I detect her strategy? Not always. Simply because I’m fooled into believing we’re bonding (We are tho. See. Im fooled). Her goal is to hide a bigger issue and avoid chores. She pays attention to the reasons I take breaks at home and then uses those same reasons to convince me to let her take breaks herself. (Which really means skipping chores.)
Nate- The Jester (calling him a clown feels too harsh, LOL).
His tool against me: humor and timing.
My weakness: my sense of humor.
His move: cracking a joke to break my scolding when he hasn’t done what he’s supposed to do.
Can I detect his strategy? YES. Very clearly because I’m dying laughing half the time. His goal: to distract me and reset the moment to his benefit.
Lily – The Legislator.
My weakness: decision fatigue.
Her move: When I say “No” she asks “why?” over and over until I run out of energy.
Can I detect her strategy? Not always. She catches me when I’m already distracted with something else.
Her goal: to negotiate a “yes.”
Now that I have my research intact, I will lay down the law in these streets. They figured me out. fine! What am I going to do about that? In the end, I will win this battle.
or Not.
Probably not.
AuthKG 