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People Watching Explained

I love to watch humans be human. I love to see humans interact with others, with themselves, with nature and mostly, with God. I want to use this writing space to experience life in their eyes. I want to feel what they feel and understand their responses to life.

The writing seen here are not my own experiences. They are writings about regular people doing regular things but written as if it were ART. Because it is.

I’ve never seen such beauty in so much imperfection therefore, I gotta write about it.

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My First Blog Post

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

That quote is part of a WordPress template to get you to start writing. I’m gunna leave it there. Lol

Dont be that person to encourage others to “be themselves” and when they live life as “themselves”, you quickly want to correct them and mold them into something far from who they are.

If you’re going to give yourself freedom to be “you”, then be just as open when your neighbor decides to shave the side of their head to match her artistic nature.

Yup, I shaved the side of my head once and I regret letting it grow out everyday. I compromised who I was to please people who don’t even care about me. I’m still working on not doing that.

Join me in my journey on… not doing that.

Apple of His Eye

You ever notice how your eyes blink when something gets near it? I mean, try it yourself. Poke yourself in the eye. Immediately, your eyes blink to protect you from irreversible damage.

Of course, I want to test this human feature out and see if I can keep my eyes open and prove that blinking is not involuntary at all.

We all know the truth. Blinking is something your body does with or without your consent.

Yesterday, I was reminded that I am the very sensitive part of God’s eye. The part that if anything goes near it, the human body goes into defense mode.

God goes into defense mode.

When I think of God, and I think of being the apple of His eye, I imagine his defense over my life is also an act that He chooses to do, with or without my consent.

Whether I am good or whether I am bad

He defends me because of who He is. and just like us, I don’t think He could help but come to our rescue when we are hurt.

And lets just say that we do get hurt, and all seems lost. He has already conquered death and our lives are secured in heaven.

But even the idea that pain on earth is inevitable, Im still left unsettled. Maybe even anxious.

Its good to know that this short life cannot compare to eternity and in the end, He protected us from eternal danger since the beginning of time.

I love being the apple of His eye.

Please Care For My Soul

I’m surrounded by so many people who love me that I get mad at myself for feeling like I’m alone.

What am I looking for?

So I wonder.

Then I saw a post on Facebook. Something about our souls being cared for.

I never thought about that. So many good people in my life love me but who really cares for my soul?

The part of me that sits in my heart. The part of me that rests in my mind. The part of me that shines in my belly.

I cant expect for someone to care for a part of me I refuse to expose. Its not really fair.

But it would be nice if someone pursued that part of me and took enough interest to listen.

Understanding the concept of loneliness when you’re not really alone.

the people watching series by Authkg

Pasta Eyes

When we feel strongly towards someone, it shows in our eyes.

I’ve made it a mission to watch the movement of someone’s eyes when they are talking to me.

I document the squints and the wrinkles and the directions the pupils go when certain things are said.

I see how wide the eyes open when one is telling an exciting story.

I watch the eyelids drop when one is expressing sorrow.

One of my favorite eye movements is when someone is heavily in love. So in love, that it hurts.

I remember when you made me pasta. You were so busy in the kitchen stirring and cutting and mixing to make me happy. To impress me

I called your name and you dropped everything at once. You wiped your hands on the towel hanging by the stove and kept your eyes on me.

Your eyes said, “What do you need? I will give you the world right now.”

Your body immediately turned my direction and you took steps closer to me like you were trying to save me from a fall.

But your mouth said, “yes?”

I’ve longed to see those eyes again. My heart remains empty to feel so important. To feel so loved.

So I battle with You, Lord. I ask you to come through and fill that space but time and time again, I’m empty.

Instead, you show me where those feelings are rooted from. You show me everyday in so many ways why my emptiness wasn’t about pasta eyes at all.

My question is, what do I do with the truth now?

God: I’m allowing life to let you feel empty. All this chaos has been approved by Me. Let me explain:

The solution to your emptiness is and will always be Me. I love you the most. I look at you with pasta eyes every single minute of every single day. But I know your heart. And as much as you know this to be the truth, it is not enough for you. Since I am a good father, I will let you feel empty enough that when it finally clicks that I love you the most, you will feel it. And it will feel so big, you could never forget it again. In the meantime, I will hold on to you and keep you from the plan of the enemy. Because the enemy will exploit your emptiness and will promise to fill your pain. But the result is to push you further away from me.

I wont allow it.

Love Thy Neighbor

Love my neighbor as I love myself.

I won’t let myself starve.

I won’t let myself go naked.

I won’t leave myself stranded.

I won’t leave myself in anguish or despair.

I Pretty much won’t allow myself to die from hunger or expose myself to danger
But.

My love for myself isn’t perfect.

I am hard on myself.

Less forgiving towards my misdeeds.

I’m impatient with me.

I’m mean and demanding towards my spirit.

My self talk is almost abusive.

I tell myself there is no excuse for slacking and punish myself when I’m disobedient to my own high demands.

So is it really safe for my neighbor if I treat them as I treat myself?

God: I remember when I knit every strand of your personality together. I was overjoyed to see it come to life. When I blew into your lungs and saw your eyes open for the first time, I knew what I made was perfect. I know the enemy wanted to destroy what I worked so hard to create so he made it his mission to slam open every single door you leave cracked open. His goal is to stir darkness into you – my beautiful vessel. But even if it may seem as though he has succeeded, I am powerful enough to turn whatever he has done into something beautiful. No, your love for yourself is not perfect. But My love for humanity is.

Enough

Am I good enough?

Am I pretty enough?

Am I a good enough friend?

Am I a good enough human?

Anyone ever asked what is used to measure “enough”?. How does one determine when enough has been met. Has anyone ever sat down and said “I have had enough”? Unless, of course, the standard of “enough” is measured by one’s self. See, I know when I drank enough water. I know when I have eaten enough food. I know when I’ve had enough of disrespect.

But I cant measure what ‘enough’ is to you. It’s like chasing the wind. It’s like gathering all the water in the ocean into my arms. Its like mowing the lawn with scissors.

It only makes sense to measure enough with my own standards even if its regarding you.

And then I laugh at myself because I’m so empathetic that I’m very cautious on how I make other people feel and I’m back again at measuring “enough” by chasing the wind.

I guess I found another vicious cycle for the books. Just like the round behind earth we live in.

Mars

I saw an image of Mars today.
It was desolate.
No foot prints.
No structures.
No signs of civilization.
A whole planet with no life.
A BUNCH of planets with no life.
What a waste it is to have planets.
Lord, what was your purpose?

God: Just because there’s no “life”, doesn’t mean it’s a waste. Just because you see no humans, doesn’t mean there’s no purpose. Your mind is so limited to what your eyes can see and what your ears were told but once upon a time, YOU never existed.

Yet I knew you.

Yet I loved you.

And I formed you.

You may not know why these planets exist and the answer might not be found in this lifetime. But for right now, Mars exist to spark your curiosity and dispute with its Creator. Right now, Mars existe to turn your eyes towards Me. And IF that’s all I created it for, then it has completed its purpose.

Eyes you don’t Deserve

Eyes you don’t deserve.

Eyes I cant stand.

I get so upset at myself for thinking about you way too much. How can someone be infatuated with just a set of eyes? Its bothersome to me that I could be so shallow. Usually, it is one’s intellect that moves me and you have none of that.

But just one look into your eyes forces me to lie to myself and search deep into our convo for something worth holding on to.

It’s not my story but it is yours.

The People watching series by Authkg

Prisoner to my emotions but released by the Word

There are days when my emotions consume me and I become a prisoner to them like I’m not even saved. I plead with God to walk ahead of me through the path my emotions tempt me to take so that He could knock down each obstacle cleverly placed to destroy me.

Can you ask God to do that? Can you ask Him to save you from yourself? Could you ask God to be with you when you’re about to make bad decisions? Taboo ain’t it, Christians?

I’ve always been taught that sin removes God from your life and practically leaves you abandoned to your flesh and forsaken to the world.

Heb 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Heb 13:6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

“I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” Am I not human. Can I boldly say, “I will not fear what I shall do to myself”?

Oh, did you already condemn me – accusing me for taking that verse out of context? Of course you did you self-righteous, cold-hearted person.

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Did you make it this far and skillfully gathered a case against me? That I may have fallen victim to the world?

That’s okay. It’s expected. Everything is taken out of context these days. Heck, even saying “NO” can somehow be interpreted as saying “Yes”.

There’s just this power in having LIVED the Love of Christ to confirm scripture to be true as it is written. If you’ve never needed him, you’ll never know Him. Only those who are BOLD enough to expose their own sin to a Holy God will see Grace. Grace is only understood when received

Vision for One. Blind to millions

I’m kinda glad I deleted all my old blogs. I might be repeating myself on here but my ideas and inspiration was tunneled towards one group of people, one type of mentality, one church denomination, one ideation, one culture, one perspective -one- out of MILLIONS.

Working in behavioral health has shown me hundreds of perspectives that I would have otherwise never seen. The stories, the trauma, the struggles, the heartaches, the desperation, the addiction and the pain of family members who suffer alongside our patients. I started to remember my old writings and I couldn’t stand how ignorant I was. I wrote confidently on how much I knew God and how His sovereignty SHOULD look like based on MY experience. My experience! ONE perspective. Mine.

God doesn’t revolve around me.

I’ve seen some sermons on social media and read IG posts with sadness because sometimes, the spiritual advice cannot work for everyone. Ideas and “revelations” inspired by one’s own experiences are not the ultimate solutions to everyone’s struggles. Imagine telling a schizophrenic to listen to the voice of God when they hear many other voices on a regular day. Did your sacrifice to quit wearing makeup work for you? Did it bring you closer to God? I’m not saying it didn’t boost your spiritual life. I’m saying, Don’t force it on anyone else.

God is sovereign in His own way for each person specific to their needs that only He knows. If you’re not spirit led, your sermons have the potential to harm someone even tho you have the greatest of intentions.

Don’t stay blind to the many communities besides your own. There are people out there who don’t know that God loves them but your sermon on the details of a prophets chancleta praying on Mt. Whatever ain’t doin the trick. Open your heart to the genuine need of the people. Put yourselves in their shoes. Understand their decision making. Be compassionate to their bad choices. Empathize with their traumatic past. Show that you care for them and show them a sense of belonging. Don’t make people jump through fire hoops to make the cut. They can’t even meet their own expectation let alone yours.

Let alone God’s.